TITLE: BRUNCH AT TIFFANY’S (or How to Make Your Partner Feel Really Inadequate)
E-MAIL: adrienne_miranda@yahoo.com
FANDOM: Law and Order SVU
PAIRING: Alex Cabot / Olivia Benson
COMPLETION DATE: 07/11/2004
RATING: G If same-sex relationships bother you, you might want to read something else. Otherwise, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!
LEGAL STUFF: Copyrighted 2004 by Adrienne Lee and Miranda Rafferty. Non-original characters, if applicable, are used without permission under "Fair Use" doctrine. The authors reserve all rights attached to all original aspects of this work. This is a work of fiction; any similarity to characters or persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
SPOILER: Post "Loss". There also might be other bits and pieces from various episodes.
SUMMARY FOR STORY: Olivia and Elliot went shopping…
AN: We’re so not O/E-shippers, if it isn’t obvious by now.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please, please, please feed us!!
“So, have you done your Christmas shopping yet?” At the coffee area, Elliot sort of kind of nudged her. “Huh? Huh?” He had been giving her a hard time since she came back from Thanksgiving.
Olivia poured the last of the sludge into her mug, and started a new pot. “Actually, I was just going to ask Kathy if she wanted to go with me.”
“Where you gonna start?” He asked as they walked back to their desk. “Need a suggestion or two from an old pro? I haven’t had any complaints yet, and we’ve been married for many years.”
Picking up the half eaten donut, and sitting back in her chair, Olivia revealed, “I’ve got a place in mind.”
“So, where?”
“Tiffany’s.”
He almost sprayed his coffee. “You want my wife to go with you where?”
“You heard me.”
“If you think I’m letting you take Kathy to Tiffany’s, you need to go see Huang, and get your head examined.”
“Then who do you suggest? Fin?” Throwing away the pastry wrapping, she began doodling on the note pad. She hated slow days like this. It was good for the world in general, but her mind needed something to focus on. Something besides the ‘OLA’’s she had been writing without paying attention.
“Why do you need to bring any body?” Elliot went on to his second Krispy Kreme. “Can’t you decide how to spend your money by yourself?”
“I’d like a second opinion.”
“That’s what the sales clerk is for.”
“An unbiased second opinion.”
“They won’t care who you’re buying it for.”
“Exactly.” Finally realizing what she was doing, Olivia tore out the top sheet, balled it up, and tossed it into the trash can. Before she knew it, she was drawing stick figures of two girls, one with long hair one with short, walking hand-in-hand down the garden path. “I want somebody who cares about the person I’m shopping for.”
“And you want Kathy?” Elliot said, choking on his words.
“Well. You told her, didn’t you?”
“No. They told us not to tell anybody.” He admitted, then added, after taking a sip from his mug to calm his nerves. “Besides, you don’t want Kathy.”
“Why?” Olivia tried to sound kind and gentle. She had heard that tone from her partner before. Either he was guilty about something, or he was about to drop an anvil on her. Either way, he was afraid for his safety.
“You know, all the cases that bombed on us… I didn’t necessarily gripe about you when I get home.”
“You didn’t.” She said calmly, while tearing the drawing off the pad, and shredding it into tiny pieces.
“Well,” laughing nervously, Elliot offered, “I gripe about Novak a whole lot more.”
“And that’s supposed to make it all better?”
“Yeah. It works for me.” He saw the look on Olivia’s face, and knew he’d better make amends fast before he found the Empire State Building half-way up his ass. “How’bout, this, I’ll go with you.”
“You? What do you know about buying for a girl?”
“Like I said, I’ve been married for so long. And I’m still married.” Putting on his smug little grin, he winked. “And I do know and care about your girl.”
It was a bad idea, something told her from the get go. But did she listen? No. Rather, she grouchily agreed, “Fine.”
“So, let’s go.”
“Now?”
“No time like the present.” Elliot grabbed his jacket and pushed his chair forward. “Or do we need to stop by your place to break your piggy bank first?”
**Damn smart ass.** She shook her head, grabbed her coat, and stalked out of the squad room. Elliot followed in her wake…
“May I help you?” A sweet young thing walked up to the detectives as soon as they entered the shop.
“No, we’re just looking.” Elliot answered, trying very hard to look sophisticated. As if this was a place he came every day for every occasion.
Olivia, meanwhile, made a beeline for the jewelry section.
“Oh, seems like your wife knows what she wants.”
“She’s not my wife.” He explained with amusement.
“I’m sorry, I thought,” she glanced at his wedding band, “I just assumed… Excuse me.” She ran away.
Sidling up to his partner, he whispered, chuckling under his breath, “The girl thinks we’re together. How gross.”
She threaded her arm through his. “So, Sweetie,” she mimicked Aunt Aileen’s perfect Brooklyn accent, and exclaimed loudly. “Ya promised to buy me somethin’ special from Tiffny’s. So whazit gonna be. Come on, don’t be a cheap skate. An’ I was so good to ya last night. Dinya enjoy yaself? ’Ya shure sounded like it. Come on, make your lil gal haappyy.”
Elliot looked for the nearest manhole cover to crawl under. Failing, he sighed loudly. “I’m sorry about what I said, okay?”
“About which thing you said.”
“Everything. And I’ll even tell Kathy how wonderful Jaime is, was, is. And how wrong I was, is, was.” He stuttered. “Please, Liv, you’re embarrassing me.”
She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “That’s ma special fella.”
Elliot distanced himself from his partner as the assistant store manager approached. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, I’d like to see these, please.” Olivia said in her normal, cultured voice, and pointed to a pearl set.
The manager was surprised in the sudden change, but said nothing.
She waved Elliot back. “You think she’ll like these?”
“Isn’t that kinda somethin’ you get your grandmother?” He scrunched his features together.
Ignoring how much her partner suddenly reminded her of Bert the Muppet, Olivia defended her choice, “Well, but she likes pearls.”
“Yeah, but…” He let his voice trailed off, realizing he’d better not pursue this line of commentary.
“Are you getting this for your mother?” The man asked helpfully, perhaps seeing the dark cloud with the charcoal lining looming in the horizon. “Or your mother?”
“We’re not together. We’re not related. No way. No how.”
“Jeez, Liv, can’t you put a little more love to it?” Elliot responded, feigning hurt. “I feel so special.”
She just ignored him, and sighed. “What about these?” She pointed to a geometric open heart bracelet and necklace set.
“That’s so not Jaime.”
The store manager just waited patiently for Olivia to make another selection, and hoped there wouldn’t be another outburst in the meantime. After a few minutes, he spoke up, “Are you looking for something in particular?”
“She’s looking for something for her girlfriend,” Elliot announced cheerfully.
Olivia vowed to herself at the next reasonable opportunity, she would kill her partner.
“Ah, I see. Is this a Christmas gift? Or perhaps some other special occasion?”
“A Christmas present.” He quickly replied, taking all the sentimentality out of the occasion.
“Um…” The man looked at his sullen female customer, and put on his best charming smile. “If you don’t mind my asking, is this an established relationship?”
“Oh, yeah, they’ve been together forever.” Again, Stabler jumped in. “You know, like two old draft horses. After a while, you gotta go the extra length to make your woman happy.” He looked over to his partner, hoping for a reaction, and swore he saw smoke coming out of Olivia’s ears. The expression on her face said, ‘you are so going to die a painful death’.
“I think I have just the perfect item.” The poor man thought quickly on his presumably sweaty feet and offered. “If you would come this way, please.”
“How can I kill you? Let me count the ways.” Olivia whispered to her partner as they followed the manager. “What was I thinking when I brought you along?”
“Heh heh!” He just smacked her on the arm, and walked on ahead to the end of the counter.
The man pulled out a tray of jewelry. “This is one of our most popular styles. Very dramatic and elegant.”
“Oh, that’s a little too much gold.” Olivia imagined the bracelet on her lover’s wrist, and shook her head. “Maybe something a little more understated.”
“Ah, may I suggest this then?”
“Nah.” Elliot chimed in, and pointed to a bangle. “How’bout this?
“Yes, that’s an excellent choice. It’s a love knot.”
At this point, bright red was showing through her olive skin. “Um… yes, that’s very nice. I’ll take that. The bracelet you showed me earlier. Do you have it in sterling? Or white gold?” She rushed, feeling the need to dash out the door.
“As a matter of fact, we do. It’s right over here.” He walked over to the next section, and brought out another tray. “We also have it in gold and silver.”
“That’s hideous. Jaime wouldn’t be caught dead in a dog fight in that thing. Okay, Jaime wouldn’t be caught dead in a dog fight period, but that’s beside the point.” Elliot advised vehemently. “If I brought that home to Kathy, I’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. I don’t care if it does cost a week’s pay, that thing is ugly.”
The manager presented the silver one, “Here, this might be what you had in mind.” Both of them ignoring the existence of the man sitting next to Olivia.
“Yes, exactly.” She looked at it, put it against her own wrist, and smiled, “Okay.”
“Will this be all for today? Is there anything else I can help you with?” It was painfully obvious that he wanted the answer to be ‘no’.
Stabler tapped her on the arm, and spoke in a low voice, “Liv?”
Bending her head towards him, she replied, “What Elliot?”
“Ask them if they have a discount for City employees, you know? Like cops and firemen. You’re gonna need it.”
“Shut up, Elliot. Go wait in the car. I think I can handle it from here.” She handed the manager her AMEX. “I think this will be all.”
“I can’t believe you just dropped that kind of cash on a Christmas present.” Elliot whispered loudly. “Kathy’s engagement ring didn’t cost that much.”
“That was years ago, Elliot. And you just got out of the Marines.”
“Still. Even now, that’s a lot of dough.” He tried to talk some sense into his partner. “If you’re dropping a week’s pay, pre-tax and with overtime I might add, on a Christmas present, what you gonna do when you pop the question?”
She turned to her partner and gave him a serene grin. “Who says I’m gonna be the one who pops the question?”
“But you’re the one who’s supposed to ask.”
“And why is that?”
“’Cuz you’re the…” Elliot started calmly, then he saw Olivia’s eyebrow went up, and swiftly lost his composure. “And she’s so… Never mind.”
“Yes, Elliot? Do tell.”
“Um…” He looked around nervously. “Oh, here comes the guy with your stuff.”
The manager came back with Olivia’s credit card and purchases. After she signed the slip, he smiled a relieved smile. “You’re all set. Thank you very much for shopping at Tiffany’s. Here is my card, it also has our web address on it. As busy as you are, you might find it more convenient.” He released a noticeable sigh when Olivia accepted the bag and his proffered business card.
As he was turning away, he heard, “Hey, buddy, waitaminute, we’re not through. You didn’t ask me what I want.” The man stiffened, and spun around on his heels with deliberate movements like a marionette. In a strained voice, he said to the male detective, “My apologies. And how may I help you, Sir?”
Elliot turned to his partner and handed her the car keys. “Here, I’ll grab a cap back. There’s no sense for both of us to be late.” Maybe he could avoid having to answer her question. “I’d like to see some earrings, for my wife. For Christmas.” He turned back to the manager and provided, “But I don’t own a bank like Ms. Moneybags here.”
It was Olivia’s turn to look for nearest manhole. Perhaps to hide in, or better yet, to shove her partner in. Instead, she grabbed the keys and fled.