TITLE: KU-U-I-PO
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Copyrighted 2004 by Adrienne Lee and Miranda Rafferty. Non-original characters, if applicable, are used without permission under "Fair Use" doctrine. The authors reserve all rights attached to all original aspects of this work. This is a work of fiction; any similarity to characters or persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
Begin Date: June, 2004
Last Updated: August 07, 2004
Complete or To Be Continued: Complete
Summary: The beginning of their stay in Hawaii…
Feedback: Give us the good, the bad, and the ugly. Please.
AN: This contains spoilers to a yet to be completed story.
“Did you know this is pulpless?” Holding up the orange juice carton, Alex demanded. “Didn’t you put the right kind of juice on the list?” Before her lover could say anything, she continued, “Oh, wait, if you had let me make the list, we wouldn’t be going through this right now, would we?” The blonde exploded, achieving an amazing level of crankiness in the few minutes since they woke up.
“I’ll leave a note for the caretaker to get the right kind. I’m sure they’ll have it here for you in the morning, Sweetheart.” Olivia tried to console her, while taking the container and putting it back into the refrigerator. “And next time, if you need anything, just let me know and I’ll get it for you, whatever it is. Okay?”
“That doesn’t help me very much this morning, now does it?” Alex snapped, refusing to be placated, and completely ignoring the second part of her lover’s statement. “I guess I’ll just drink water.”
“I saw a market down the road when we were coming here last night.” The brunette rushed to put on her shoes. “I’ll go get some for you right now.”
“And what the hell am I supposed to do while you’re gone. Watch the wind blow?”
“You’ll have Oliver to keep you company, and I’ll only be gone for a few minutes.”
“Oh that sounds like loads of fun. I’ll tell you what,” Alex slipped on her sandals, and reached for the car keys. “You stay here and keep Oliver company. I’ll go get my own juice, at least I’m sure I’ll get the right kind.”
“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t really be driving so soon. I’ll take you there right now.” Olivia snatched the keys off the hook, and opened the front door. Smiling cheerfully, she bowed and gestured for her lover to precede her. “Your carriage awaits, my lady.”
“Never mind, I’ll just walk. I haven’t forgotten how to do that.” The blonde moved towards the other exit, and spun around when she heard the quickly following footsteps. “Don’t you dare follow me.”
“But, Alex…”
“I mean it, Olivia. If you want to find yourself sleeping in Oliver’s cat-box, just follow me.” She stalked out of the house in a huff, and sat down in one of the lawn chairs, with her head in her hands. This was getting ridiculous. Olivia was getting ridiculous. The woman had followed her to the bathroom this morning. After she pushed her lover out, and finished her shower, she found her waiting outside with her ear pressed to the door. That was the last straw…
Moments later, Oliver joined her on the beach. “Hi there boy, how did you…?”
“Bad Oliver, how did you get out?” The brunette appeared, and picked up the cat. “He must have slipped out when you left. I looked for him everywhere, and then I saw him heading here. So I thought I’d better come and get him.” She was such an incredibly bad liar.
“He was standing next to you when I left. So either he grew a prehensile thumb and opened the door himself, or you let him out.” Alex countered, then softened just a bit. “I want to be alone right now. Just a few minutes without you hovering over me.” Please, Olivia.
“I’m just trying to take care of you, Alex.” The brunette started, “You were gone for so long and …”
She didn’t give her lover a chance to complete her sentence. It was the same reason, or a variation thereof, over and over again. “Olivia, I mean it. Go for a walk. Go read a book. Check out the Narcissus Festival. Take wind-surfing lessons. Watch the whales hump. Or learn how to hula. Just leave me the hell alone.”
“But Alex…”
“GO AWAY!” She finally screamed. “NOW!”
Exhaling loudly, the brunette picked up Oliver, and begrudgingly went back into the house. Not too long afterwards, she came out again holding a plate and a glass of pink colored smoothie.
Alex sighed.
“I brought you breakfast, your favorite.” She pointed out the heart-shaped strawberry waffles, garnished with fruits. “I even cut the melon up in bite size pieces. And I did give you a few minutes. In fact, many more than a few. It took me almost half an hour to fix all of this.”
“When we go out to eat are you going to choose and order for me? You didn’t ask me what I wanted for breakfast, or if I wanted anything at all.”
“But Sweetheart, I fixed you strawberry food. You always like strawberries.”
“What are you going to do next? Chew and regurgitate into my mouth?”
“No. But if that’s what you want!”
“I’m not some damn helpless baby bird!” Alex had had enough. “Just take it away, Olivia. I’ve lost what appetite I did have.”
“Alex, Sweetheart…” She tried to put on a funny face. “All these poor strawberries died for your breakfast…”
“You eat it then.” The blonde stood up, and crossed her arms. “I’m going to take a walk down the beach. Alone. That means without you. And without you joining me in a few minutes. In fact, I don’t want to see you until I get back here. Understood?” Not bothering to wait for an answer, she took off down the path.
The mild weather, the pristine secluded beach, and the panoramic view of the ocean all worked to ease Alex’s testy mood. She picked a spot on an outcropping of rocks and sat down, letting the sounds and sight of gentle waves lap off her tension. Moments of joyous solitude passed…
Then a furry brown body appeared in front of her, and sat down. “Hi, Oliver.” She scratched him under the chin, and checked his harness.
“There you are!” Olivia came running up right behind him, breathless. The leash wound around her hand.
Alex just glared at her lover and shook her head slowly.
“Oliver was absolutely miserable without you, so I let him come visit.” The brunette explained. “I knew you wouldn’t want our little boy unhappy.”
“Well, he has found me, and seemed much happier.” Alex held out her hand for the leash, then hooked it onto the harness. “You can go back to the house now. Thanks for escorting him.”
“Oh, I thought I might join you and keep you company.”
“Do you listen to a damn thing I say, Olivia?” Unable to restrain her anger, nor trying to, the blonde blew up. “I just told you a little while ago I wanted to be alone! That means without another human, especially one named Olivia Benson! So, go away and leave me alone!” Finally, she curbed her outburst. “Please don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Yes, Alex.” Olivia said softly, crestfallen. “Where are you going this time?”
“I’m staying right here.” She settled back and hugged her knees. “I’m going to watch the waves rise and fall, and try not to think of too many ways to drown you.”
The brunette walked away, to a small group of palms not too far from her lover and their cat. There, leaning against a tree, she sat and watched over her heart.
Oliver didn’t allow Alex too much time to enjoy being alone again. Soon, he was butting her with his head and dropping his leash into her hand. Finally, he jumped down onto the sand, and headed away from her, looking back expectantly.
“All right, cat. Where are you taking me?” She obliged and followed, while he ran straight to Olivia’s hiding place. “What are you doing here?”
Smiling sheepishly, Olivia replied, “Watching over you?”
“Why? I don’t need a minder.” Alex argued, too tired to raise her voice. “I’m a big girl and I’m not going to get swallowed up by the waves, or eaten by a giant crab. Here, take Oliver. And I want you to stay here until I come for you. Understand? No following, no watching me from a distance, just stay right here and don’t move. Sit. Stay. Like you tell your cat. And even he understands the commands.” She knew she sounded incredibly spiteful, but her lover was running her insane.
“I’m not stupid. And yes, I’ll stay here until you come and get me.” The brunette agreed cheerlessly. “What if I need a bathroom?”
“Lots of trees and palm leaves.” She called over her shoulder as she walked away quickly.
Olivia moved up to the beach, and pursued her lover with sad eyes until she disappeared towards the general direction of the house. Resigned to her fate, she tried her best to do as Alex requested. Content for the time being to watch Oliver play chase with the waves.
After a while, he got tired of the sea, and began investigating various empty shells on the beach. Digging them out from the sand, and flipping them with his paws, he found one that was occupied.
“Oliver, you might want to leave that one alone.” The brunette warned, clapping her hands. “Oliver! It’s somebody’s home.”
Dropping her hands in her lap, she watched him play with the hermit crab a little more. “At least she didn’t tell you to sit and stay like some dumb dog,” Olivia lamented, feeling more than a little sorry for herself.
Paying no heed whatsoever to his human, Oliver continued to bat at occupied shell. Knocking it over, again and again. A few times, it righted itself and tried to scuttle away. The cat just followed, and swiped at it with his paw.
The brunette clapped her hands again. “Oliver! It’s a living creature. Leave it alone! You can’t just play with it like it’s a toy!” She admonished, and the cat sat down by her as if he could comprehend her warning.
“Why doesn’t your Mommy understand? I almost lost her. What if it happens again, and I’m not there. Who’s going to watch over her and protect her then?” Olivia whined, and patted her companion on the head.
“Doesn’t she know she’s my whole life, Oliver? What am I gonna do if she goes away again, and doesn’t come back? What are we going to do? It would be just you and me, boy, and life would just be miserable. We would be miserable.” The brunette went on as if the cat were listening to her every word. “All I ever want to do is to take care of her, to be there when she needs me. Is it really so bad? How come I can’t seem to do anything right these days? She’s always mad at me…”
Pulling her legs up to her chest, she rested her head on top of her knees, and hugged herself. She wondered when Alex would come back for her. If her lover would punish her by making her stay there all day. Then she started worrying again.
She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the images. It didn’t help. Every fear she ever held flashed before her like a badly made Technicolor movie. Alex in every kind of trouble: lying helpless while a fire raged around her. Collapsed on the beach as the waves drew ever closer, lapping at her fingertips. Suddenly slipping into unconsciousness in the middle of a six point intersection with rush hour traffic…
An angry yowl from Oliver jolted her out of her daymare. Her eyes snapped open, just in time to see the cat running madly towards her, and the hermit crab moving quickly back to a tide pool.
Apparently, the crustacean decided to make a sacrifice of its claw, which was still firmly attached to Oliver’s whiskers. He leaped into her arms and meowed again. The brunette checked his face and mouth to make sure he wasn’t bleeding, then headed back to the house with the feline in her arms. She knew she should take the crab claw off, but not until Alex saw it. This was her only legitimate excuse for going back. If she was just carrying the claw and Oliver was calm, it would look like a complete lie.
Providence had provided in such an odd but convenient way. Olivia lifted her eyes to the clouds and uncharacteristically thanked the big head in the sky for the favor. Her lover couldn’t be mad at her for bringing their ‘wounded’ cat back. A big Hawaiian beach was no place for a sheltered city animal. The blonde would just have to understand she was defying her orders strictly for their beloved pet.
With Oliver still in tow, the brunette found Alex in the living room. She had her feet up, and was reading a magazine. She looked so comfortable and relaxed, Olivia really hated to disturb her. Perhaps she should just turn quietly around and walk back out the door. As she decided to do just that, Alex looked up.
“You must either be stone deaf, or you are totally incapable of following instructions. Which is it, Olivia?” Alex charged. “Or have you thought of some new and clever way to completely run me out of my mind?”
As luck would have it, Oliver chose that particular moment to let out a mournful howl. He hopped into his other human’s arms and flopped down, as if to say, ‘You’re ignoring me, and I’m mortally wounded.’
Taking a closer look, Alex saw the crab claw hanging from his face. She eased it off gently, but couldn’t help bursting out laughing. Immediately, Olivia joined in. Less than amused, the cat shook his head and jumped down to the floor. He took off into the kitchen, trying to keep his dignity intact.
Snickering, the two women collapsed together on the couch. With tears running down their faces, they sat with their arms wrapped around each other. Finally, the blonde met her lover’s eyes, and smiled.
“Truce?” The brunette suggested.
“Will you stop hovering?”
“Can I take you to dinner?”
“You’ll let me order my own food and chew it myself?”
“Yes, Sweetheart.” Olivia started to argue that she hadn’t been that bad. However, they were getting along. She decided against rocking the boat.
“Promise?”
“I promise, Alex.’
“All right then, you can take me to dinner.” She kissed her lover, and sighed softly.
Commencing a gentle massage, Olivia asked, “Are you still feeling cranky?”
“I little bit.”
“Maybe a little nooky and a nap before dinner?”
“Are you going to let me make love to you, and not treat me like spun glass?”
“If you want.”
“All right.” She got up from her seat. Extending her hand, she pulled Olivia to her feet, and led the way to the bedroom…
“Let’s go for a walk.” Alex suggested after dinner. Hand in hand, the two women strolled along the pier.
“Sweetheart…” Olivia turned to her lover. Before she could continue, the blonde broke away from her, and sprinted towards the end of the darkened pier.
“I want to see the moon on the water.” She called back. “Catch me if you can.”
She knew Alex was being playful, but she was terrified for her. Running after her lover, she tried to get to her before she reached the end of the dock.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Olivia?” Unexpectedly, the brunette scooped her up in her arms and carried her back to the beach. Alex demanded in a dangerously low voice, “Have you completely lost it? What’s your problem?”
“I thought you might fall in.” Olivia explained uneasily. “You might, you know …”
“No, I don’t know. You promised you’d stop hovering.” She contested hotly. “Leave me the hell alone, Olivia. That’s one thing I do know.”
“But, Sweetheart…” She tried to put her arms around the now completely irate woman.
The blonde slapped her lover’s hands down and pushed her away with enough force to make her stagger backwards. “Don’t you even think about touching me. You turned a lovely evening into a humiliating fiasco. Right now, I want you as far away from me as possible.”
“Alex, please understand,” Olivia pleaded. “I’m just trying to look after you. With everything that’s happened, you really should take it easy. That was the whole idea behind this trip, so you could relax and get some rest.”
“Rest? You don’t leave me alone for two seconds, how can I get any rest?” Alex spat, no longer caring that she could be heard. “You do everything but wipe my ass when I use the bathroom. You’d probably do that too if I let you get away with it. I’m so sick of this! I’m going home!”
Olivia looked as if she had been struck by lightning. “Home? You mean back to New York?”
“Don’t put ideas into my head right now.” She warned. “I might do just that and leave you here to enjoy this idyllic hellhole.”
“But Sweetheart, it’s Hawaii. It’s supposed to be paradise on earth.”
“It is or was until you decided to be my jailer.” Alex glared, cold fire shooting from her eyes. Turning away, she hurried towards the front of the restaurant.
Just as the valet attendant pulled their rental to the curb, Olivia caught up. He started to hand the brunette the keys, but one look from Alex and he deposited them in the blonde’s hand.
“Were you going to just leave me here?” Olivia asked, somewhat chaffed.
“If you want a ride back, get in the damn car and keep your mouth shut.” She decreed. “One word out of you, and I’ll push you out myself.”
Without further protest, the brunette climbed into the passenger’s side of the Jeep and buckled her seat belt. She dreaded the drive back. When Alex was angry, she drove like a maniac. No, Olivia took that back, under normal circumstances her lover drove like a maniac. When she was angry, she drove like a Valkyrie riding the Hounds of Hell.
A nerve-wrecking eternity later, Alex slammed the car door and stormed into the house. The brunette eased out of the car, happy to be alive with dinner still in her stomach. Although she wasn’t sure how she had accomplished that feat after their drive back. Still, she wanted to try and salvage something of the night.
When she walked in, the blonde was in the kitchen getting a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. She swept passed her and went into the bedroom. With a loud bang, she threw the door closed in Olivia’s face, almost banging her nose. Just what did Alex have against her nose? The next thing she heard was the lock being turned.
Not quite believing, Olivia stood, staring at the locked barrier between them. This was a first. In all of their time together, with all of the fights they had had.
Hell. What’s the use? Sighing loudly, she gave up.
How did things go so wrong? Standing on the shore, gazing at the dimming moonlight, she wondered. “Oh great, just what I need.” The breeze changed directions, and suddenly, it was drizzling. “You can forget my earlier gratitude! If you even existed!” She yelled towards the sky, and shoved her hands in her pockets.
Then she pulled out a small velvet jewelry box and opened it. Inside were two matching rings: simple gold and platinum bands with channel set diamonds. Selected with Ling’s total approval. And she was going to give them to Alex right before the disaster on the dock. Now, it seemed so utterly pointless. “As enduring as the heavens? What a joke!
“What a fucking joke…” She looked down at the rings, and recalled the iciness in the blue eyes throughout dinner. And the tense silence between them.
It had been a rocky road for them the last few weeks. Rachel had given Alex a clean bill of health, but told her to take it easy. When Olivia had suggested a vacation, their friend thought it was an excellent idea. Everyone did. Apparently, everyone but Alex…
The brunette had wanted the trip to be perfect. Romantic walks, her lover’s favorite everything. They even brought Oliver, so their little family unit could be together. They would be so happy in paradise, planning their future ahead.
What’s the point? Was there even one to begin with? She snapped the lid shut. This isn’t some fairy-tale. There isn’t going to be any happily ever after. Alex is going to leave in the morning, fly back to New York, and out of your life for good, Benson. It’s time you face your lot.
Olivia pulled her arm back to hurl the small box and its contents out into the waves. To let them sink to the bottom of some oceanic abyss along with her heart. Before she could complete the motion, a familiar hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her. Pulled off balance, she landed on the sand rather painfully. In any other circumstance, it might have been comical.
“Here. I brought you your wind-breaker, you should put it on.” The blonde sat down beside her lover. “What’s this?” She tossed her head towards the jeweler’s box.
Passively, Olivia let Alex drape the jacket on her shoulders, and flip the hood over her head. “Nothing,” she mumbled.
“Then you won’t mind if I took a look inside?” Holding out her palm, she waited for the brunette to relinquish the item.
“Why?”
“Why not?” She asked in return.
“Fine. Go ahead.” Olivia said mournfully. “It’s not like it matters anymore.”
“They’re exquisite.” Alex commented softly. “You were going to toss them out to sea. Are you mad?”
“No.” Came her flat response.
“I assume they’re for us?”
“Yes.” The brunette replied, sniffling just a little, still refusing to look at her lover.
“And you were going to just throw them away. Is that how little you think of our relationship?”
“No. But you’re going to leave me, so what’s the point?”
“I’m going to what, Olivia?” She gasped in disbelief. “What ever gave you that idea?”
The rain failed to mask the tears in her voice. “At the restaurant you said you were going home…”
“Oh hell, Olivia, I didn’t mean I was going back to New York. I meant I was coming back here.” Alex closed the box, and put it in her lover’s pocket. “I was just so angry and frustrated with you. You don’t leave me alone for two seconds, and you’re always hovering. It was sweet at first, now it’s just maddening.”
“But the look on your face during dinner… It was so emotionless. The few times I looked into your eyes, it was like staring into the mirror.” The brunette whispered, choking on her words. “I know I don’t have you, Alex. I was sure you were going to tell me we’re through...”
“I wasn’t warm and fuzzy ‘cause I was trying hard not to jump you in a crowded restaurant.” With a smile, Alex kidded, “How come what you just said sound like some ABBA lyrics? Are you going to tell me to go away, too?”
“No.”
“You are my love, my life, my one and only, Liv.” She looped her arm around her lover’s and rested her head on her shoulder. “And you’re my home.”
“Really?” Olivia turned quickly to face the blonde. “You’re not really leaving! You were just coming back here! That’s fantastic! It’s got to be the best news I’ve ever heard!” She replied ecstatically, the tear streaks down her cheeks forgotten.
“I’m still mad at you.” Alex reminded.
“Oh.” Unsuccessfully, she tried to take the happiness and relief out of her voice.
“You haven’t let up since I woke up from my long nap.” Alex tried to explain. “You watch over me every single minute. It was nice at first, and I really enjoyed the attention. But instead of letting up, you got worse…”
“I was just trying to look after you. I didn’t want you to go away again. I couldn’t bare that, Alex, none of us could.” Olivia admitted. “You scared the hell out of me. I’m not sure I could go through that again.”
“Is that why you watch over every single thing I do, every step I take? It’s really over the top, Liv, and I can’t take it anymore.” She lifted her lover’s head to face her. “I’m not going to break, and I’m not going away again any time soon.”
“How can I be sure? That month a half was absolute hell. At least when you were in Witness Protection, I knew you were alive.”
“Liv, you and I both know there are no guarantees in life. I love you and I know you love me, but you have to stop this obsession with looking after me. Please, for both of our sakes…”
“But I just worry about you so much.” Olivia fretted. “When I wake up in the middle of the night, I check to make sure you’re breathing okay. Sometimes I want to wake you up to make sure you would wake up, but I thought that might sound kind of stupid so I didn’t.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that. It probably saved you from getting bopped in the nose.”
“I figured as much.” Olivia managed a thin smile.
Pressing forward, Alex kissed her lightly. “I’m fine, Liv, you’re just going to have to trust me, trust us.”
“It’s hard, Alex, I don’t know if I can.”
“You’re going to have to.” She took her lover’s hand and played with her fingers. “I watch you walk out the door every day, and I never know if you’re going to come home in one piece at the end of your shift… You know why I make you call me from your cell?”
“Why?”
“Every time the phone rings, if it’s not a number I recognize, I worry… I worry if…” She searched the dark eyes for understanding. “I live with that 24/7, but I try not to let you know. I just give you a kiss and a cheerful smile and send you off to fight the bad guys…”
“I didn’t know…” She touched the slender hand to her lips. “I guess I’ll just have to try harder. If you can put up with that, I suppose I can put up with this. No more hovering, I promise.”
“Thank you.” Smiling brightly, Alex asked, “Now, what were you going to do with those rings besides throwing them in the water? I can’t believe you were really going to do that. Such melodrama.”
Olivia whined, “I was not being melodramatic!”
“Oh, you were, too. Melodramatic enough to make most people blush.”
“Whatever.”
“So what were you going to do with them?”
“I was going to give you yours during our walk down the pier, but I got over protective...” The brunette admitted quietly. “Guess I really screwed up our romantic night under the moon and stars. I’m so sorry.”
“Well, the moon and stars are behind the clouds somewhere. I’m sure they haven’t fallen out the sky. You could always try your luck again.”
Olivia retrieved the box, and took out the smaller band. She slipped it on her lover’s ring finger, then pressed her lips to the upturned palm. Alex repeated same. Holding each other tightly, they kissed, sealing their bond.
“I love you, Alex.”
“I love you, too, Liv.” Smiling, she stood up, and extended her hand once again. Pulling her lover up, and into her embrace, she requested, “Dance with me.”
“Here? Now? What about music?”
“You sang for me in Paris. It’s my turn.”
“All right…” She acquiesced, bracing herself.
“Ku-u-i-po, I love you more today, more today than yesterday… But I love you less today, less than I will tomorrow…” Alex sang softly, her alto mildly out of tune. But it sounded perfect to her lover’s ears.
“See the sweet Hawaiian rose, see it blossom see it grow… That's the story of our love, ever since we said hello…
“Ku-u-i-po…”
At the door, Oliver joined in, making howling noises.
“Wow. He needs a bigger bucket than you to carry his tune!” The brunette teased.
“Just hush,” she licked her lover on the nose, and slipped her hands under her shirt, “And do me.”
“Here? It’s raining.”
“Rain, ocean, me, same difference…”