NOW FOR THEN Chapter 18
“Hey, stranger.” Hank answered his cell phone almost immediately.
“I need to see you,” Olivia said simply, half hoping he would tell her she was nuts, and that he was in LA, where he supposedly lived and worked.
"Meet me in the park across the street in fifteen minutes." He told her, and quickly hung up.
She looked at her watch, and wondered just what was going on. He didn’t even ask for her location. **Either the hounds are getting better, or I’m not paying enough attention…** Moving away from the garage entrance, she crossed the street, found a bench, and waited.
Hank had been expecting Olivia to hunt him down, especially after the flurry of phone calls that he had received from his contacts and his field agents. He was surprised she hadn't blown a gasket already. After finding out what had happened, he almost did. **Oy.** He would much rather crawl through broken glass than to face his best friend.
"Nice weather for this time of the year." He sat down, and said conversationally, staring at his English oxford shoes.
Were they pretending they didn’t know each other? Or was he just nervous? Olivia wasn’t sure. This Spy vs. Spy crap was driving her slowly insane. "Yeah, real nice day. Should I ask you about dress sizes in Madrid or something?"
"Is this case making you a bigger wise-ass? Or are you getting vinegary in your old age?" Hank countered good-naturedly.
"Need I remind you we share the same birthday? The exact same birthday? If I’m old, then you’re showing gray around the muzzle, too." She teased back, breaking the ice. “Enrico La Guardia, huh?”
“Rico.” He smiled a smile of relief. Perhaps she wouldn’t shred him to pieces after all. “You know I never liked the name Henry. Sounds so pretentious.”
"So you gave yourself a mobster name. How melodramatic.” She noticed her friend’s uncharacteristic lack of a comeback, and decided to fully enjoy his discomfort. After all, he contributed to her frustration. “Is this a permanent thing? Or are you going to wrinkle your nose and go POOF at some point?"
"I'm not a witch, so I'm not going to go ‘POOF’. At least not right away. But I’ll always be around to help.” He smiled reassuringly. “Oh, you can put away your flaming sword now. Alex did call the Marshals. Everyone who spooked her was an agent from one department or another. They’re all accounted for.”
**Good. Guess I can close the case myself.** Olivia was going to tell Hank what she found, make him take care of the rest, and hop on the next flight out. What good would it accomplish? She didn’t know, didn’t care. Alex’s well-being was her only concern. “Everyone who spooked her?”
“Well, she spotted my people, too, but they were, shall we say, less conspicuous?”
“What other departments and agents?”
Instead of answering directly, he chastised, “Vaughn tried to warn you about prying eyes, but you were too dense or too irate to listen.”
"Just what the hell is going on?" Worry was showing on her tired features. “This is not just about the kidnappings, is it? Tell me the truth.”
"Liv, you're a great detective. Think about it, you've had run-ins with the feds before. Claudia Williams comes to mind. You know we usually only pay attention to witnesses who can put away bad guys…” He paused, waiting for a sign from Olivia to go on. Receiving a brief nod, he proceeded, “Haven't you ever heard about the ones who they just dropped off somewhere with a couple of grand, a new driver’s license and social security card and that's it?"
The detective tried to digest what he said, and everything else he didn’t say. “But she was an ADA, not just any witness.”
“Yes, and for those judges and prosecutors who cared enough or were brave enough to do their job, we have a thing call protective detail. You’ve heard of it, yeah?”
“Is everyone sarcastic ‘cuz the air’s too clean or something? Or is it a fed trait?”
“Sorry. Think I’m picking up your mood…” He winked at her. “So.”
“I thought she could testify against Velez.”
"Could she really? Zapata killed Sandoval. Zapata was the one who ordered the hit on Alex. Nothing he did could be tied to Velez.” Looking back down at his shoes, Hank continued, his voice detached. “In fact, I doubt Velez gives a damn about any of that, he has so many people lining up to prove their loyalty and their worth to him.”
He was right, Olivia realized. “But she got shot.” Someone should pay; there should be justice.
“Are you sure it was Zapata? How about Velez? Do you really know?"
“Do you?” She asked, and searched his face. “Oh my god, you do, don’t you?”
Ignoring her question, Hank advised, "There are still many people blaming her for Zapata getting axed, so I wouldn't go resurrecting Alexandra Cabot. But think about her setup, don't you ever wonder?"
"Sure. I just thought it was all the family connections or something. I mean, considering public servants at her level don't usually make the entire front page, or have the mayor and governor show up at their funeral." She shook her head.
“Don’t forget the half a dozen secret service. But I wasn’t talking about that setup. The government has nothing to do with that, except to allow it to happen. Well, we also help make it happen.”
“My tickets, too?” Mrs. Cabot shouldn’t be paying for that, she thought.
"Your tickets are free. Believe it or not, the airlines feel more comfortable knowing there's a cop riding along. You're one of many. Consider it a perk of your profession." He smiled, knowing she would see the wisdom in that.
"Oh, so I got drafted by Homeland Security. Do I get a government pension?" Olivia laughed sardonically.
"No pension. You’re just a temp." He tried to keep a playful tone.
“Whatever. You were talking about a set up?”
"Liv,” Hank pulled at his short goatee and sighed. At times like this, he wished he were a smoker. Slow death by lung cancer would probably be more pleasant. “Alex's grandparents didn't just buy a couple of Picasso paintings.”
"They didn't?" Olivia asked, glossing over the fact that he knew about her conversation with Vaughn.
"No. I doubt Celine Cabot or anyone else in the family knows this, James O'Bryan the Fourth used his resources to publish a newsletter called Worker Sentinel."
"Really." So what? She wanted to say. “That was then. What does it have to do with now?”
“I’d say ‘nothing’, but we’re not going by the ‘reasonable person’ standard.”
“What are you implying, Hank?”
"I just love Socratic method, don’t you?” He attempted to make things lighter. It wasn’t working. “Let's pick the most liberal and the most conservative persons you can think of.”
“Okay…” She was losing patience quickly. **Suppose he can’t just come right out and tell me,** she speculated. It was a good enough excuse for the moment.
"Now, imagine these two people having a child together." He continued setting up his scenario.
"Eww. I'd rather not." She winced in reflex, not sure where he was leading her.
"Let's call this child Alex P Keaton. Remember him?"
"Sure, Michael J Fox's obnoxious, self-righteous Nixon-loving character. His parents were bleeding heart ex-hippies, he was an arch conservative Reaganite. Where are you going with this, Hank?
"Just work with me here,” he pleaded, and carried on, “One day, suddenly, Alex P Keaton started to act like Lisa Simpson, more and more…”
"Lisa Simpson is just as self-righteous... but she swings the other way.” The light was beginning to dawn, and Olivia wasn’t certain she was prepared for the revelation.
“And in this world, Lisa Simpson has extremely wealthy, freaky liberal, fairy god parents…”
“Yeah…?”
"Alex already went too high once. Do you have any idea how many campaign coffers are hurting because of that one little stunt she pulled? She pissed off an unimaginable number of people, and that's just one of the things I'm talking about."
"The pharmaceutical lobby...” Yep, the light was indeed dawning. “But she was just following Branch's orders. How can they blame her for doing her job?" Olivia already knew the answer to that, too.
"Alex is just too damn mule-headed. She's already proven her willingness to die for her beliefs. She can't be intimidated or bullied or bought off. Who knows where else she'd want to go next? What if she did become DA one day?" Hank sounded somber and disgusted.
'Not DA. A judge. She wanted to be a judge." Olivia corrected him quietly, not that it really made much difference now.
“Oh, that’s even better.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice again. “You think when you put on that robe, you’re supposed to forget everything that you are? Yeah? How many judges are really like that?”
“She’d be one of them.” A deep sigh followed the statement.
“You seriously think other people would believe that?” At the shake of her head, he kept on, “So, at best, they are afraid she's going to be a loose cannon. Is any of this getting through your skull, Benson? Do I need to spell it out for you some more?”
"Continue to teach me, Hank, you're obviously dying to." She snapped at him.
He grimaced, and watched the young couple as they passed by. "Fortunately, there are still some people who believe in the constitution as the founders of our country intended. And people like me who simply think that sometimes the good of one --- two people in this case, trumps any alleged greater good. Especially since I know for a fact that these two people do more good than any reasonable person can ever expect." He rushed on, and then turned to face his friend.
"You took away everything she knew and loved because of some ass-hole's paranoid delusion?" Olivia demanded indignantly.
"Well, we didn't take away everything, Liv." He looked at her meaningfully. "And that's not the only bird we hit. There really was a contract out on Alex, and we thought with the disregard for her safety she'd already shown, she was going to get herself killed sooner or later. I couldn't let that happen.”
“I guess…” She had to acknowledge that possibility.
“Well, if I’m right, and you and I both know I am, she’ll come out of this not too worse for wear.” He tried a reassuring smile, his hazel eyes searching her brown ones for agreement and comprehension.
“Meanwhile,” the brunette talked into her palms, fingers rubbing her temples, “Some other people are happy thinking if you give a person enough rope…”
“They’ll hang themselves, yes.” Completing the sentence quickly for his friend, he knew she was going to see the way sooner or later.
“Is Brown there really to help? Or just to keep an eye on her?”
“She hasn’t given him any reason not to focus on the first part. He really does care about the kids, and she’s doing a damn good job.” He beamed, happy with his handiwork, or pleased for Alex, or both. “So good, in fact, that he wishes he has the funding to hire her.”
“That’s wonderful…” The word came out in drawn out syllables. Olivia really, really was glad for her lover, but, somehow, she still felt surrounded by gloom.
“We did try to give her a better life, Liv.”
"Did you really, Hank?" She asked him bitterly, thinking about how hard it was being separated and not seeing her every day.
“You have to admit she seems a lot happier." He sighed and stared at the landing sea gull. It really wasn’t his place to discuss what he was about to tell her. But it was his job as her best friend to deliver the needed kick in the rear. "Look, I'm really sorry you were miserable for awhile, but it was your own damn fault.”
He brushed off whatever she was going to say, and continued impatiently, a little annoyed with her self-pity. “If you had stuck around instead of going AWOL, like you always do at the slightest chance your heart’s gonna break, someone would have briefed you. We tried to find you, but you disappeared."
"You're kidding me." Olivia was incredulous.
"You could’ve had time off after the funeral and at least help her settle in. Your Captain had already approved it.” He disclosed, hoping the theory behind ‘tough love’ was true.
"Wouldn't that be suspicious? Someone might figure it out." Olivia couldn't believe the needless hell she went through thinking Alex was dead. Not to mention when she did find out she was alive, the days she spent wondering if she'd ever see her again. **Damn it! That friggin’ sucked.**
"The rest of your squad, probably. But you know you can trust them. Nobody else would think too much of your leave, since someone you had an extremely close working relationship with for all practical purposes died in your arms. That would have been emotionally traumatizing enough to explain just about any absence." Hank made it sound so reasonable and uncomplicated.
"Why didn't you tell me after the funeral?" She complained. “I could’ve met up with her.”
"Alex asked us not to." Hank looked straight at his friend, knowing she would want an explanation. He certainly did.
"Excuse me?" By Olivia’s expression, one would think Hank had just told her irrefutably that the earth was flat and the moon was made of cheese.
"Liv, I don't know what you said to her that night, but apparently it wasn’t the right thing. You gotta ask yourself." He told her bluntly.
"Take care." Olivia whispered, counting the black flecks in the asphalt beneath her soles.
"What? I didn't hear you." Must have heard wrong, he thought.
"I told her to take care.”
“You didn’t. You did. Let me guess, she had no clue you were crazy in love with her.”
She just shook her head.
“Are you really that afraid?” Hank asked rhetorically.
“What was I suppose to say? Elliot was there, and the Marshals, the DEA agents… Of all the stupid, asinine things..." She thought it was lame then, it sounded even worse now. "Fuck me." She hung her head in her hands. "Just friggin’ fuck me." She couldn’t blame Alex for not letting her know. Olivia needed the soul-searching, the punishment, and the pain. She didn't deserve to go with her.
Realization dawned on him. "Now it makes sense," Hank said aloud, not really meaning to. **Damn!** He could have kicked himself.
"What does?" Olivia sensed the change and raised her head. She wasn't sure she could stand many more revelations. **Just how much worse could it get?** She wondered.
"Why she turned down our offer to…" He shook his head, "It doesn't matter, Liv." There was no point in clobbering a person when she was already flat-on-the-face down.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Olivia let out a string of expletives.
It was so unlike her, and Hank hated to see her beating herself up. "Just let the past be the past. You're together now…" He patted her on the back. "We still have real problems to solve."
After several tense, silent minutes, Olivia finally set the self-flagellation aside. “But… Doesn’t she have the right…? Shouldn’t she have a say? It’s her life you people are mucking with.”
“Trust me, Benson, as someone who knows you, who loves you like a brother, you really need to let this go. Believe me when I say it's not a battle you can win. In fact, there's not even a battle to fight as far as everyone else is concerned.” He hoped his friend would understand the futility of her righteous anger.
"Maybe you should just take the next flight to Chicago like you were supposed to yesterday, and forget you and I had this conversation. Forget any of this ever existed. You can just let us take care of finding Destiny and General Thomas." He offered her an out. With the strain she was currently under, it might be best for everyone concerned.
"What about Alex? She has the right to know!” Olivia said hotly.
“No! Get it through your head right now! I can’t protect her if she’s out of my jurisdiction. You’re not going to do anything rash!” Forcefully, Hank warned.
Olivia was shocked. In all the years they had been friends, he had never used that tone with her. She didn’t even realize he was capable of such fury. If she didn’t appreciate the severity of the situation before, she did now. Expelling a breath of defeat, she let her shoulders sag.
He hooked an arm around her, and gave her a gentle squeeze. “Didn’t you promise her mom not to say anything anyway? How are you going to explain running into me? You really should just go home. Let me get you a flight.”
**Home? Oh, yeah, suppose he’s right…** Shaking her head in quiet amazement, Olivia asked, "Is there anything you don't know?”
He flashed her his charming little boy smile, "I know, unless you've started smoking catnip, you have a four-legged namesake you're spoiling rotten. I always thought you were a dog person, Benson."
"Well, I made an exception for Alex. As much as I want to, I can’t just walk away from this." She said with determination and regret.
Hank gave a long exaggerated sigh, and suggested hopefully, "Okay, Liv, why don't you work with Vaughn? Let him back you up. He's certainly got the manpower and resources."
"It’s not a matter of ‘let’. He thinks I'm barking up the wrong tree, that it's something much bigger. Is it always about bigger with you guys? Jeez." Olivia groused.
"Very funny. I'll try to convince him you know what you're doing, okay? Or at least tell him to stay out of your way."
"I'd appreciate it. He's been nothing but a pain in the ass with his little delaying tactics. Making me go on unnecessary wild goose chases. What’s his damn problem anyway? And what he said about Alex…" She could strangle him.
“I wouldn’t put any weight on his inappropriate comments. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Hank advised casually and renewed his concern, “So you really think Miller’s our guy?”
“Yep. If you wanna hear my theories…”
“That’s okay. I trust you judgments. As long as they involve only your detective skills.”
“Ouch.”
Hank patted Olivia on the knee. “Meanwhile, will you cut Vaughn some slack? He’s got a lot vested in the outcome of this case.”
“Well, so do I!” She couldn’t believe what he was asking of her.
“You have ten years on him. He’s young, he’s new, and he’s gotta learn.”
“What if he makes a mistake?”
“That’s why I’m here, and why you’re here.”
“To be his babysitter? I don’t have time!”
“Think of it as building your karma points, okay?” He entreated.
“Why do you care?” Really shouldn’t be such a pushover, she thought, mildly irritated with herself.
“I just do. Now you need to get some chow and then some sleep. I'm worried about you, Liv." He put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
"Hank, I can't. I’ve got a perp to catch, and no Elliot to help." She laid her head on his shoulder for a moment, and then straightened up.
"You're dead on your feet, Olivia. I promise, my people will find Miller and keep an eye on him. If he does anything funny, I'll let you know right away."
“Are you sure?”
“Please, just humor an old friend.”
“If you put it that way,” she pecked him on the cheek, “how could a girl say ‘no’.”
He flashed her a toothy grin. “I’ll have to remember that line for next time.”
"Hey, what's up with Liz Desai, anyway?"
"What do you mean?" Hank asked, baffled by the sudden question about the DCSF attorney.
"Is she part of the set up?"
"No. We do draw the line somewhere,” he said, chewing on his lower lip reflectively. “They found each other on their own. But, of course, I did have her and her husband checked out."
"And they passed?" Maybe it wasn't necessary, but Olivia had to confirm.
"I couldn't have picked better friends for her. Desai and Keating both are used to being discreet, and they are a liberal, open minded couple." He obviously whole-heartedly approved of them. "Anything else I can answer for you?"
"Is Big Brother going to get bored at some point? Or are we going to be under surveillance for the rest of our lives?"
"No, you won’t be under surveillance for too long. At least in the grand scheme of things." He assured her, and then continued. "It's like any other witness program, six to eighteen months. It all depends on what you do and who is in charge. Anything else?"
"Yeah,” she gave Hank her best Cheshire cat grin. “Can you do me a favor?"
"I'll try, Benson, I’ll try.” He shook his head, and smiled back. “So. What is it?"