TITLE: PROMISES
E-MAIL: adrienne_miranda@yahoo.com
FANDOM: Law and Order SVU
PAIRING: Alex Cabot / Olivia Benson
DATE: November 29, 2003 to December 13, 2003
FEEDBACK: Yes, please. We'd love to know whether you like this or not!!!
ARCHIVE: Ok, just let us know where.
RATING: Nothing beyond TV-level-graphic-ness. If same-sex relationships bother you though, you might want to read something else.
LEGAL STUFF: Copyrighted 2003 by Adrienne Lee. Non-original characters, if applicable, are used without permission under "Fair Use" doctrine. The author reserves all rights attached to all original aspects of this work. This is a work of fiction; any similarity to characters or persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
SUMMARY FOR STORY: The promised kiss of springtime...
SPOILER: Post "Loss". There also might be other bits and pieces from various episodes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please note the story completion date and the legal disclaimer. We decided to keep the story as is because we believe it wraps up both "Loss Regained" and "Songs from the Heart" series neatly. Adrienne and Miranda cooperated on the conceptual aspects of this story. The writing though is all Adrienne.
Alex came out to the living room to find her lover engaged in yoga. "Aren't you out of sequence?" she asked as she walked around the brunette's extended form.
"Just listening to my body," Olivia replied, then dropped both legs to the floor from a shoulder stand.
"I'm not going there." She sat down on the futon, and patted the spot next to her. The cat jumped up in response, and immediately started purring as she massaged carefully up and down his spine. "Can you lick your back yet?"
"No." Olivia raised her legs and lowered her palms to the floor, "but when I'm done with this," then walked her feet away from her head, "I can lick yours."
She laughed softly. "That's ok. You need to keep your tongue to yourself for a while."
"You're no fun."
"Speaking of fun, what do you want to do today?" Alex grinned as Oliver hopped down from his perch and staggered away loose limbed.
"Like I said before..."
"Don't you want to see the city or something?" She stretched out luxuriously on the futon. "You're leaving tomorrow."
"I'd like to see more of you..." Her gaze met briefly with her lover as she moved onto her stomach, slowly extending her spine up and backward, like a powerful but graceful cobra.
Alex took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, "What about some of the tourist attractions?"
"I went out to your balcony," Olivia's face relaxed, "and saw both the John Hancock Building and the Sears Tower yesterday. I did the tourist thing." She was pleased that her head almost touched her feet.
"No Art Institute for you?" She shifted onto her back, listening to her lover's leveled breathing. Counting... Waiting...
"Maybe next time." The brunette glanced at her lover and chuckled as she eased fluidly into another position, "You are the only naked work of art I'd like to see."
"That's a bad line even for you." Alex sat up, and rested her elbows on her knees. **Isn't there a yoga studio on North? I should sign up. Maybe they have meditation classes. Yeah.**
"Does it work though?"
She twisted ginger brown tresses into a knot, and shook her head, "You're hopeless."
"So, what would you like to do?"
"I don't know... there are so many things, too many things..." A hint of little girl excitement evident in her voice. "I haven't had a chance to do any of it."
"Oh?"
"Just too busy. Besides, my favorite playmate hasn't been around." That brought a smile to Olivia's face that made Alex's heart melt. **This openness thing is definitely good.**
"Ok," Olivia grinned indulgently, "You decide what you'd like to do, and we'll do it." And got onto her hands and knees.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked, with undisguised delight.
"Yes, sweetheart." She arched her back like a cat.
"Anything?" Perhaps, the query sounded a little too eager, but she wanted to be certain.
"Well..." Olivia hesitated, straightening her legs. **Oh, no. I've done it again.**
"You did say I could decide."
"Ok." Remembering how seeing Alex happy made her feel, and realizing why she could never say no, she affirmed, "Anything."
"Good!" She exclaimed cheerfully, "Last one to the shower gets ravished!" And sprinted passed her lover, swatting her upturned behind.
"Hey, that's not fair." Olivia yelled, scrambling out of her downward dog pose.
***************************************************************************
Olivia handed her menu to the waiter, and turned to face her companion, a funny look lingered on her face.
"What?" Alex lifted an eyebrow, as she prepared her tea.
"Why would you willingly eat beets?"
"Why, Ms. I-live-on-vegetables-and-roots-alone, what's wrong with beets?" She dunked the tea bag a few times and let it fall to the bottom of the cup.
"It's just..." The brunette grimaced. "I always gave it to the dog when my mom wasn't looking."
"Ben ate beets?"
"He was a walking trash can."
"Hm." She rested her chin in her palm, contemplative, "I always ate whatever Mrs. Szeto decided to put on the table."
"Everything?" Dark brows went up as she took a drink from her cappuccino.
Staring out the window, she reflected. "It never occurred to me not to."
"Really? Wow."
"Things might taste different, but they're never bad." She looked back at Olivia, and dropped her gaze as her companion licked the foam off her lips. "And after a while, you get used to it."
"Jaime O'Brien's view on life?" Olivia asked in jest.
"Sort of," Alex took a deep breath, and responded seriously.
"My mom would have loved cooking for you." She commented sincerely, and attempted to lighten the mood. "But I'll eat whatever you put in front of me."
"You'll starve to death waiting." Alex replied as she refilled their aluminum cups, "You know I don't..." She put down the water carafe, looked up, and met her lover's eyes. She leaned in, rested her elbows on the table, and crossed her arms, just like the way she used to when Olivia caught her at her desk. She completed the casual gesture with 'the look'.
"That never works on me."
"Oh, no?" She curled her lips into a smirk.
"I hate to tell you, but I never found that expression scary." Sitting back, Olivia relaxed her gaze and replied nonchalantly.
She moistened her lips and picked up her teacup, her eyes never left her lover's, sipping slowly until Olivia straightened in her seat and took a deep drink of water. Moving the cup from her mouth and wiping the moisture sensually with her tongue, she smiled, "I never meant for it to be... So, what do you think of this place?"
Olivia tried to center her attention on the scruffy middle-aged waiter in a Def Jam t-shirt. "It's interesting," she finally managed. Except for the Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the background, the Zagat-rated restaurant was laid back, unpretentious, maybe even a little shabby. It had old postcards and photographs pinned onto the walls with thumbtacks. The menu was veggie friendly; the people were pleasant; it really wasn't so different from the hole in the wall restaurants they would go to in New York... Except for the young, upwardly mobile clientele who looked to be card carrying ACLU or Green Peace members. Alex with her hair in a loose knot, dressed in her padded barn coat, faded NYPD sweatshirt, frayed jeans, and Earth shoes fitted right in. "I guess I never figured you a true bohemian at heart." She teased, noting she didn't seem too out of place herself.
"Guess there's a lot you don't know about me. The new me." Alex laughed and replied thoughtfully, "Although I don't know if I'm that bohemian."
"Oh, I'm not sure if the allegedly new you is really so new to me." She grinned confidently, "I've seen the teddy bear in a smiley face t-shirt in your old closet, and the pink tie-dyed undies you never wore. Besides, I know the important stuff."
Alex kissed Olivia with her eyes, and took a bite of her lover's veggie omelet, then filled the space with red flannel hash.
*****************************************************************************
"Why did you let me eat so much?" Olivia complained as they stepped onto the pavement.
"No one told you to clean my plate," Alex reasoned, just as she had many times before.
"Then you'd want to take the leftovers with you and I'd end up lugging it around all day," she groused good-naturedly. "I know the drill."
"You're still carrying it around," she laughs, "Just not in your hands."
"Well, we could go home and you could help me burn it off."
"No, we've just checked off the first thing on our itinerary."
"So, what do you want to do next?"
Alex flashed her a mischievous smile, "Lets walk off breakfast."
"Oh, god, I was afraid you were going to say that."
Olivia really didn't have the desire to do any of the tourist things. But when they crossed the six-point intersection, she realized they were retracing the same route they took when she was following Alex home. She started listening raptly and watching closely all the things her companion had to show her, taking it in and committing to memory.
The first stop was St. Teresa's. Olivia was surprised that Alex wanted to go in. She herself had not been in a church since her mother died; and she had stopped going long before then. She followed anyway, and had no idea what her lover was doing in the back -- she had the distinct feeling that Alex had wanted a solitary moment. So Olivia stayed in the front, and lit a candle for her mom. Afterwards, she just stood by the door and leafed through the different fliers. She didn't have to wait long.
They walked through the art districts. She noted the excitement in her lover's voice as they talked about the pieces hanging near the windows, and remembered the many afternoons they spent in Chelsea. There was a big warehouse full of galleries that they would visit every month, starting from the tenth floor and winding their way down to the bottom. Olivia's favorite part might have been the chaste kisses they stole in the stair well, but she knew Alex enjoyed the exhibits. And she wondered with regret when or if they could go back, but decided she would just have to find new things to do with her companion on her next visit.
Before they reached downtown, the two women stopped by Starbucks for their caffeine fix, and passed by the Merchandise Mart.
They stood on the bridge over the Chicago River, until it got too cold. "Sometimes I come here during lunch, and think about the Hudson," her lover admitted, before pointing out and explaining the Loop.
Then she showed Olivia all the different government buildings, courthouses and the streets where most of Illinois' lawyers had their offices. **Only Alex would consider those tourists spots.** Olivia thought, amused.
Whether she wanted to or not, she got to see the Sears Tower from the ground up. It was hard to miss.
Alex took her by her temporary office and showed her where she would be when the Cook County building was ready for occupancy again. She explained that there was a fatal fire in the building, but that she wasn't there, that she usually spent her days in court.
Olivia was relieved. The thought of her lover experiencing any more traumas absolutely tied her stomach in knots. She recalled her ordeal in the courthouse parking lot, and decided it was good to have at least one zealous cop around.
The three-mile walk ended too quickly for the brunette. She tried hard not to feel like a visitor in Alex's life. Deep down, she knew she wasn't; and she clung onto that knowledge.
Then, to her utter horror, they ended up at the Millennium Park ice-skating rink. Alex had wanted to go to the Rockefeller Center rink every winter since they started seeing each other, but Olivia had always managed to find an excuse to avoid it -- usually with the help of a perp, or some well-timed more pleasant distraction.
"Sweetheart, wouldn't you rather go do something else?" She asked hopefully, pleading silently.
"No."
"I'm really not sure about this..."
"But you promised..."
"I know." She stuck her hands in her jeans pockets to search for safety, "But that was before I knew ice-skating would be involved."
"Are you breaking your promise?" Alex fought the urge to hug herself.
"No. Of course not."
"Then why don't you want to go skating?" Fair brows furrowed, as realization dawned. "How come you never wanted to?"
Suddenly, the almost undetectable tone in her lover's voice hit her. **And you never caught this before? Damn, Benson. Pay better attention!** She confessed, "I can't skate."
"What do you mean you can't skate? You mean you've never been?" Alex asked gently, sounding more curious than disappointed.
"No, I've tried, and I can't," Olivia explained. **There, you've told her. It really wasn't that hard, was it?** Now she hoped her lover would let her off the hook.
"Maybe you just didn't have the right teacher?"
"Sweetheart, take my word for it, I can't skate." Olivia tried to reason, her hands still firmly in her pockets.
Meanwhile, Alex had hers in a prayer pose, her fingers pressing down a grin, "When was the last time you skated?"
"I was a kid," She held her arms out from her sides in exasperation, "And I spent more time on my ass than I did on the skates."
"Come on, give it a try." Alex grabbed her arm and tugged her forward, "Don't be such a wuss!"
"Did you just call me a wuss?" She stopped and pulled Alex back, "You didn't just call me a wuss," and put on a menacing look.
"Having issues with our hearing? Wuss. Wuss. Wuss."
"I'll show you!" She walked on ahead in a huff.
Alex smiled, and commented quietly, "Well, that tactic worked."
"What was that?" Olivia looked back.
"Well, lets get to work!" Alex stepped up alongside her lover, and they walked towards the skate rental booth, both with a purpose.
Alex soon had on hers skates, while Olivia fumbled with her laces, untying imaginary knots.
"Are you going to make me wait all day, Liv?" She glided past, did a simple spin, and continued on.
By the time Alex completed the circle, Olivia was standing by the entrance to the rink. She crooked her finger and gave the brunette a come hither smile, one she never could refuse.
Olivia tentatively stepped onto the ice, and promptly fell flat on her butt. "I told you, you wouldn't believe me."
"You've just started." Alex smiled encouragingly, and extended a helping hand. "Besides, the edge of the rink is usually most slippery, I think." She speculated, trying to make excuses for her lover.
"Right." She ignored the offer, grabbed the railing, and pulled herself up to her feet.
"You sort of slide as you walk." Alex suggested patiently, "Just take a step and push with your other foot. Then repeat it. Like this," complete with demonstration.
"Ok." Olivia took a deep breath. "Let's give this another try."
"Yeah, that's it." Her hands were in that prayer position again; unlike before, she let her smile shine. "Push, slide, push, slide. I think you've got it."
"I'd much rather be doing that to you." Olivia grinned and wagged her brows.
"Focus, Liv." Alex's bright laughter effectively freezing the suggestive gesture, "On skating."
In a flash, she fell again. Her lover glided over and watched as she pulled herself up once more.
"Ok, now it's a challenge." The brunette announced, this time she stayed closer to the fence, and managed to get about half way through without incident.
"You know, you're going to have to let go of the railing sometime."
Olivia loosened her grip warily, and slipped at once. Alex grabbed her just in time to prevent the completion of her descent.
At that moment, a little boy glided up and stopped between the two women. "Hi, do you need some help learning how to skate, lady?"
Olivia replied graciously, "No, that's ok."
"I fell a whole lot when I was learning, too. It took me forever to go around the rink." The young boy explained buoyantly.
Olivia just looked at him and smiled.
"Yeah, but that was when we first got here, I'm a lot better now." He added as an afterthought.
"How long have you been here?" She had to know.
"About an hour, I think. I'm not very good at reading the clock yet."
"Wow. That's great." She praised, aware of the gentle, soothing pressure of her lover's hand. "There might be hope for me yet."
"You want me to show you how, lady? My dad said I'm a natural skater."
Just then, his father came up, "Come on, Zack. What did I tell you about pestering strangers?"
"Oh, daddy, I was going to teach this lady how to skate."
Alex jumped in, "That's ok, you're here to have fun with your daddy. I'll show her how."
"You sure?"
"Yes, Zack," Olivia responded, "I'm in very good hands. You go have fun."
"Okey dokey. Bye!"
"Bye!" They waved as Zack and his father raced off.
"You're going to let a small child out-skate you?" Alex guided her lover to the edge of the rink.
The brunette hung on to the metal bars and let her shoulders sag.
"Are you ok. Liv?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Looking up, and smiling, she admitted, "My ego might be a little bruised and my butt's gonna be sore, but I'm fine."
"You can hold on to me." Alex held out her hand, "I won't let you fall."
"No, I need to do this on my own," Olivia insisted, determination in her eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Her voice though, said otherwise.
"I can see if they have pillows you can rent."
"Very funny."
"You know, I think you've suffered enough." Alex caressed her lover's cheek with her gaze. "We should go."
"But you want to skate."
"That's all right." She smiled reassuringly.
"Why don't you go ahead?" Olivia suggested. "I'll just stay here and watch you."
"Let's go home and help you feel better." Endless depth of tenderness shone through hazel contacts.
"You sure?"
"Sure." She confirmed and started to move towards the exit, offering her arm to her lover.
"Hey," Olivia pulled her back by the hand, until Alex stood only a breath away from her. "I have something for you."
"Another... surprise?" She stammered, momentarily stunned by their proximity. Then she tried to take a step back.
The brunette wrapped an arm around her and held her fast, unfazed. "Do you mind? I know you're not crazy about them."
She shook her head, "I decided some surprises are good." She searched the deep brown eyes for a hint of what was to come, "So what is it?"
Olivia let go of Alex and reached into her pocket. She withdrew a silver ring, "This. May I?" and motioned for her lover's left hand. Alex removed her glove and held her hand out tentatively.
She slipped the band onto her middle finger, making sure the crown was pointing outward. Expelling a nervous breath, she remarked, "Oh, good, it fits. I figured now that you're Irish, this makes sense... Hey, if you take it off? Make sure it goes back on this way so people don't think you're looking... Assuming you're not looking... Uh, will you quit staring at that and say something?"
Alex lifted her head. The love in her eyes spoke of countless unvoiced promises. The smile that graced her fair features conveyed an infinite beauty unbeheld by any human heart. Without hesitation, without fear, Olivia let go of the metal barrier and dived into the brilliant warmth.
"Look, Dad, the two ladies are kissing!" The little boy whizzed by and exclaimed.
"Leave them alone, Zack. They're in love." The father's voice trailed off as they sped away. "Sorry, gals!" He yelled.
Olivia just kissed her lover harder, deepening their connection... until Alex had to come up for air.
"Wow..." She giggled. "Wow!" Still giddy and speechless, she rested her hand on her lover's chest to catch her breath. "Thank you."
"No, thank you!" She grinned crookedly, dazed by the dizzying rush and her own very public display, "I can't believe I just did that. I hope it was a good surprise?"
"Very good surprise."
"I'd pick you up and spin you around like they do in movies, but we'd end up on our asses." She laughed and leaned against the railing behind her.
Alex put on her glove, "Oh, come on!" and pulled Olivia forward.
"Sweetheart!"
"Just hold on to me!" She turned around and held her lover's hands firmly against her waist. "I won't let you fall. I promise!"
***************************************************************************
"Let's make that our song." Alex said quietly, shaking moisture out of her hair.
Olivia regarded the natural waves appreciatively, "Let's make what our song?" showing no desire to leave the balcony, nor to keep away from the drizzling rain.
She turned just enough to meet her lover's eyes, "The Ella Fitzgerald song that was playing when you gave me the ring."
"We're going to have a song?" Olivia asked, half hopeful, half apprehensive.
"Don't people usually?" She returned her gaze forward, towards the lighted buildings downtown.
Dark brown eyes followed, "Uh, I never did. But that could just be the people I was with." She chuckled, "How 'bout you?"
Alex thought for a little while, and looked back, smiling, "No. Me neither."
"I guess it's a very apt song for us." She returned the smile, gazing deeply into bright blue eyes, "You know I'll miss you like crazy."
"I'll miss you too, so very much." She eased into the hug, "But it's only going to be a few weeks, right?" Holding her lover tight, willing time to pause.
She pressed their cheeks together, "Absolutely. I'll be back before you know it." Hanging on to their connection, letting it ground her.
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Alex leaned into the strong arms about her, and snuggled deeper into the protective embrace.
"Hey," Olivia whispered. "Think you might wanna go back to the park next time I visit?" She asked softly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, it's fun... once I figured out the trick."
"Which is?"
"Take bold steps, and let your instincts and the momentum guide you."
"Olivia Benson's maxim for life?" Alex queried, a quiet laughter in her voice.
She buried her nose in honey brown locks, "And now love."
***************************************************************************
In the darkened room, illuminated by a streetlight and the occasional passing car, Oliver slept soundly on his carpeted tree house. Across from him, concealed in shadows and shielded by darkness, his humans lay in a tender glow.
"So, when?" Alex asked, reaching up, caressing the sterling and gold design and twisting the ring with her thumb to show Olivia the subject of her inquiry.
She let her breath graze across her lover's lifeline, and pressed her lips against warm metal, lingering briefly, then let go. "Tuesday afternoon, before I left New York."
"That was presumptuous of you." She teased, and tapped the brunette lightly on the nose.
Olivia ran her hand gently down her lover's back, and laced her fingers together, drawing the slender body over her own, holding on, holding close, "Well, you told me to let you know what I want. So I took a leap of faith."
"I'm glad." She nodded, and rested her palm over her lover's heart. She listened, as her own pulse caught up with the steady rhythm, "Liv?"
"Yeah?"
"I've found what I've been looking for."
"What's that?"
Alex glided upward, until thighs met thighs, belly joined with belly, and breasts touched breasts, "You."
********************************************************************************
Time and again I've longed for adventure,
Something to make my heart beat the faster.
What did I long for? I never really knew.
Finding your love I've found my adventure,
Touching your hand, my heart beats the faster,
All that I want in all of this world is you.
You are the promised kiss of springtime
That makes the lonely winter seem long.
You are the breathless hush of evening
That trembles on the brink of a lovely song.
You are the angel glow that lights a star,
The dearest things I know are what you are.
Some day my happy arms will hold you,
And some day I'll know that moment divine,
When all the things you are, are mine!
"All the Things You Are," Jerome Kern
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