TITLE: WORTH WAITING
E-MAIL: adrienne_miranda@yahoo.com
FANDOM: Law and Order SVU
PAIRING: Alex Cabot / Olivia Benson
DATE: October 28, 2003 to December 27, 2003
FEEDBACK: Yes, please. We'd love to know whether you like this or not!!!
ARCHIVE: Ok, just let us know where.
RATING: PG for the illusion of sex. Otherwise, nothing beyond TV-level-graphic-ness. If same-sex relationships bother you though, you might want to read something else.
LEGAL STUFF: Copyrighted 2003 by Adrienne Lee. Non-original characters, if applicable, are used without permission under "Fair Use" doctrine. Lyrics quoted from "Ray of Light", "I Touch Myself", "Love to Love You Baby" and "Black Velvet" are also used without permission from their respective copyright owners. The author reserves all rights attached to all original aspects of this work. This is a work of fiction.
SUMMARY FOR STORY: Epilogue to the LOSS REGAINED series and beginning of SONGS FROM THE HEART series; and yes, we're beating the existentialist dead horse to a pulp.
SPOILER: Post "Loss". There also might be other bits and pieces from various episodes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Miranda for beta reading, suggestions and being the communal heater. No angels have been harmed or abused in the writing of this story.
NEXT STORY: TOUCHING SHAWDOWS
Olivia woke with a soft start. Disoriented from the first dreamless night she had in weeks, she was momentarily uncertain if this was also a figment of her desperation. The gentle weight against her chest eventually registered. She inhaled deeply the familiar sweet scent, and let it dull the almost inexorable panic.
Then slowly, carefully, she extricated herself from her lover's embrace.
And standing by the bed, she memorized the sleeping form still shrouded by the pre-dawn blue haze. Finally, she moved towards the door, closing it silently behind her.
She sat down on the futon, and turned on the television. With the TV on mute, she flipped channels, stopping when Pepe le Pew appeared chasing the skunk-marked Fifi. She set the remote aside, leaned back, and blanked out...
Until a small motion by her leg caught her attention. "Hey, Oliver." She reached down and scratched his head, wasn't quite sure what to think of her namesake. Her back was still smarting from his claws.
"I guess you thought you were defending her, right?" She grinned despite herself, and was surprised when he jumped up onto the armrest and bumped her with his nose.
"What do you want, cat?"
He just trilled, and pushed against her shoulder with his body.
"You couldn't have been a dog, could you?" She grumbled and moved over, "Dogs are so much easier to understand."
He wedged himself between her thigh and the futon and purred, until Olivia gave him enough room to lie down.
"What am I? The communal heater?" She put her hand around him, and smiled as he snuggled closer. "Crazy cat."
She turned her focus back to the cartoon. As Fifi ran across the TV screen, she gazed inward, and marveled at the clarity she had gained. Such serenity and contentment, such contrast with the turmoil that used to be her life. She let her memory drift to a much earlier time, when she stepped off the precipice, and allowed herself to free fall into the unknown...
"Benson."
"You're hard to get a hold of."
"Yeah, well, I'm a popular girl. What can I say? You could have called my cell."
"I thought it's only for criminals or victims, and I'm neither."
"You're getting married, Hank. You qualify. So what's up?"
"Come to my party tonight."
"Tonight? Isn't it guys only? I already made plans."
"Who's the lucky boy or girl?"
"Just someone from work. We're trying to close a case."
"The senior ADA you've been snubbing me for?"
"No, Hank. It's just someone I work with."
"You forget, Benson, I know everyone you work with. So you're coming?"
"I don't know... I did promise..."
"Look, I know I can't compete with those blue eyes and legs, but I'm your best friend, and I'm only getting married once."
"I repeat, we're trying to close..."
"A case. Yes, I heard you the first time. Who are you fooling? Me? Or you?"
"Hank."
"Come on, just tell Alex I really want you there, I'm sure she'll let you off the leash for one night."
"Watch it, Hank."
"Cancel, Benson. She'll understand."
"Am I going to be the only girl? It'll be weird."
"You didn't think it was so weird when you dragged me to your ex-girlfriend's bachelorette shower, did you. Besides, this is my party, and everyone knows you're my best friend."
"Who's going to be there?"
"No one you ever bedded, if that's what you're worrying about. But I'm sure everyone there would trade their mother to be your toy boy for the night."
"Including you?"
"Only if you'll tie me up and slap me around. Seriously, Munch and Tutuola are the only people you really know who will be there."
"Just them?"
"Yup. That's it. You aren't avoiding them, too, are you?"
"Eff you, Hank!"
"I wish you would! Rachel said she'll let you eat crackers in our bed."
"Tell Rachel I prefer Triscuits."
"So I'll see you tonight?"
"I'll be there with bells on."
"And nothing else? Don't tease me, Benson."
They had been there for almost an hour. Each of them had already bought Hank at least one dance. He only pretended he was enjoying the attention; she knew his heart was elsewhere. **Wherever Rachel is, I'm sure.** Olivia thought, trying to block out the din.
The music was way too loud, and the songs were cheesy. She was utterly bored. Some of the girls were nice, but it was not like she didn't have similar body parts. **I could easily go home and flash myself in front of a mirror.** She sighed, and turned to her only distraction: her hard lemonade. She tossed it back, wishing she were anywhere else but there.
She thought about her original dinner companion. She wondered if she could get out early, if Alex would be up for a late snack in Chinatown and maybe even a show.
If truth were to be known, somewhere deep down, she was a little bit disappointed that Alex had let her off the hook so easily that afternoon...
"Hey, Alex."
"Hi, Olivia. Are we still on tonight?"
"That's what I'm calling about... You remember Hank Leadon, my best friend?
"Sure. How has he been? I haven't talked to him since he left the DA's Office."
"The DOJ is starting him on some high level stuff, so he's loving every minute of it."
"That's wonderful! So what's up?"
"He wants me to go to his bachelor party."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah. I can call him back and cancel."
"No, don't. You should go and have fun."
"Right. I doubt it'll be much fun... a bunch of cops and government lawyers in a strip club."
"A strip club?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's one of the squeaky clean ones."
"Okay, whatever that means."
"You know, where they don't get completely naked?"
"Actually, I can't say I do, but okay."
"And you can't touch them..."
"It's all right, Olivia. I'm sure you and Hank will have a good time."
"So you don't mind?"
"No, not at all. Say hello to Hank for me, will you?"
"Okay, I will."
"Hey, Olivia?"
"Yeah, Alex?"
"You still owe me dinner."
"I do, don't I? How about tomorrow night, dinner, and a movie to make up for canceling tonight?"
"You've got yourself a date, Detective."
**Why feel the need to justify to her? It's not like you're schtooping her.** Olivia pondered as she raised her bottle to her lips. **And why feel bad that you cancelled your dinner get-together to go to a strip club? She obviously doesn't care. You're just developing a friendship with someone you work with. It's not even a real date, Benson.**
She didn't think about it too hard though. Olivia the detective would analyze cases, evidence, suspect's reactions, and she could do it forever. With other things, more personal things, she operated on instincts. She was not a profiler. It was Huang's job to figure out what made people tick, and she was comfortable with that arrangement.
She took another swig, feeling the tart liquid slide down her throat, and enjoying the way it made her taste buds pop.
"Gentlemen, please welcome the celestial Angel to the stage for the first of two dances."
"To the new ball and chain." One of Hank's co-workers began the salutations.
"To lotsa hot love and sweaty sheets," Olivia toasted when it was her turn. She noticed she had to concentrate on her enunciation. Something was bothering her more than she thought, or maybe she should have eaten first. **Oh, well. Whatever.** She tossed caution aside, and finished off her drink.
Angel stepped up onto the raised platform during the guitar lead in to Madonna's Ray of Light.
**At least the song is bearable.** Olivia concluded, and sat back. Her seat faced the stage, and she looked on casually, not paying too much attention, looking nevertheless. She never talked about her lack of sexual preference with Fin and Munch or anyone else. She was an intensely private person, and her friends respected that. But she didn't make an effort to hide it either.
Almost immediately, the girl started twirling around on one of the poles. Olivia looked askance, she didn't get the whole pole-climbing thing. "Tell me, John. What's the deal with that?"
"You got me." Munch shrugged, "But you have to admit, it is a great show of athleticism."
"Fine. I guess she is supposed to be flying." Olivia was glad the waitress brought her a new bottle.
The dancer shed her slinky white gown during the instrumental section of the song. She pressed her body against the pole, gliding upwards as she flex her legs, and arching her chest suggestively.
"Woohoo! Angel!" The men at Olivia's table cheered.
"Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder
Do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun
She's got herself a universe gone quickly
For the call of thunder threatens everyone
And I feel..."
She spun back down horizontally and started swaying to the music.
Suddenly, Olivia noticed there was something different about this girl. There was a certain gracefulness about her. She didn't have enhanced breasts, nor was she too muscular. Perhaps a little thin but still soft in the right places. The heels weren't quite as high as the other strippers', they didn't need to be; but high enough to make her calf muscles work.
They locked eyes. The girl smiled, a little shyly and a little seductively. Olivia squinted, then blinked.
Somehow, the brief exchange brought her back to the last heart to heart she had with Hank. It was almost six months ago... They weren't shit faced, but they weren't feeling much pain either...
Olivia had thought she was in love; she might even have found the soul mate that she waxed to Elliot about. In the end, Andy was just like any other person she dated. For a change, he knew the demands of her job, and showed the right kind of interest. Unfortunately, he only thought he understood her, and saw what he wanted to see. Once she realized that, the passion she felt just fizzled. There was no grand love that the poets tried for centuries to immortalize, no heart-arresting instances that made her question free will. As hard as she tried, there was just nothing between them. After a while, even the sex got boring.
She had had much more fire and fun with a random one night stand. At least she wouldn't have to deal with their annoying habits the next morning.
"Yup, that's definitely the way to go." She announced to Hank.
"I'm not so sure, Benson. I think you and Andy were just wrong for each other."
"Andy and all the other people I dated."
"You don't wanna end up the Whore of Babylon."
"Is that what you think I am?"
"No, I just think you're gonna feel the need to settle down one day. Whether you want to or not."
"Yeah? How would you know? You and Rachel have been dating for how long now?"
"Too long, Benson, way too long."
"There, I rest my case."
"Actually, Olivia, I just asked her to marry me, and she accepted."
"Seriously?"
"Cross my heart."
"Wow. Jesus. Wow... Congratulations, Hank. It's about time."
She regretted how their timing always seemed to be off. Rather than sharing stories of their conquests and being there for each other's heartaches like close siblings would, sometimes she wished things were different. She could have married him. They were so much alike; they had the same sense of justice, same desire to help people. When they graduated from Siena, they made a pact: she would become a cop and he would prosecute the criminals she collared.
Olivia knew they were also much too similar. They would have driven one another crazy, or killed each other in less than a month. However, there was a difference between knowing and accepting. At that moment, she chose to dwell in the bitterness she felt.
"Hey, Benson. What do you think of Alex Cabot?" He asked later that night.
"I hear she's going to be our new ADA."
"So what do you think of her?"
"She's a lot of smoke and mirrors."
"You don't think the bitch and brain is true?"
"Well, I think she's a cold fish."
"Everyone thinks she's taking the job just to move up."
"Everyone's entitled to their own façade. Who am I to tear hers down?"
"Cold fish, huh?"
"No, let me rephrase that: Super cold, flash frozen fish."
"Ice and Fire, I've been told."
"I wouldn't trust your sources, Hank. They're usually faulty."
"Maybe she just needs the right motivation... or the right person..."
"And I'm suppose to care, why?"
"My faulty sources tell me she plays on your team."
"But I like playing on both teams."
"Exactly. Except for her it's about the person, not the team."
"Yeah, Mary Magdalene and the prissy, immaculate cold fish. It's too absurd even for my life."
"Aren't you into Yoga these days? Think of it as achieving perfect harmony, or something."
"No, thank you. She's wound up so tight, she's like a one cable bridge.
"Don't you want to unwind it?"
"I'm not sure I want to be the one who snaps that cable."
"What, the great Olivia Benson afraid of falling?"
"No. I just don't play with people I work with."
"But you're not working with her yet."
"Yet."
"Your loss, Benson."
"Oh, well."
"If she's as cold as you said, just imagine that fire underneath. Don't you want some?"
"You can't have everything you want, Hank."
That night, sitting half-drunk in a noisy strip club, Olivia found herself wishing for that to be untrue. **If I could just...** The DJ's announcement interrupted her musings.
"Gentlemen, this is the enchanting Angel with her second dance."
**Yup. Just straighten the blond hair and make it a little shorter...** She finished off the bottle and switched to Jack and Coke.
**Elegant, intense, spicy and sweet, just like...** She halted the mental speculation, **Don't go there, Benson. Flash frozen, remember?** and reached for her new drink.
She kept her attention fixed on the stage when Angel began her next set.
"I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me..."
She hung on to the aluminum fixture, grinding her pelvis in circles to the music, touching herself provocatively as she descended onto the floor of the stage.
Fin leaned forward in invitation. He waited until their lips almost touched, then whispered something to her, and slipped money under her garter.
Olivia was surprised. **Is he seeing the same resemblance? Didn't notice him watch her before.** She felt a tinge of something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She brushed it aside, and turned to Munch.
"You let your partner do this?"
"He can take care of himself. Besides, Liv, I don't think it's Fin we need to worry about..."
She looked up just in time to see the girl point at her. She was close enough that Olivia could hear her singing along to the music, her slightly smoky voice directed at her...
"... I want to make you mine
I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you..."
Angel crawled towards Olivia. Quite unexpectedly, she reached out and caressed Olivia's face.
"You go, Benson." Someone said; the comment vaguely registered. She was utterly mesmerized by the writhing vision before her: Lean body shifting, sliding, twisting, like an experienced yogi.
The girl bent forward again seductively, and pressed her lips to Olivia's cheek, breathing the words, "I want you, I don't want anybody else. And when I think about you, I touch myself." She smiled, and sat back on her heels, arching her back, lifting herself upward, slowly, perfectly.
"Gentlemen, please let's hear it for the heavenly Angel. She will be available for private table dances for the rest of the evening." The DJ's voice came on too soon.
Olivia finished off her drink, ordered another one, and excused herself, pleased that she was still walking straight. She noticed the looks people gave her. It was hard not to be the center of attention when the person on stage had focused hers on you. Olivia didn't mind being the subject of their wet dreams. She smiled at them. She knew she was hot. She also knew nothing gets men hotter than a pretty girl who liked other girls.
She shook off the inexplicable longing, and wondered which one of her table companions she would spend the night with.
When she came back, Angel was sitting in Tutuola's lap. Olivia was not really surprised. "VIP lounge for you, Fin?"
He smirked and went back to talking with the dancer.
"What are they chatting about?" She wondered, feeling another tinge of something. Whatever it was, she tossed it aside with another gulp of her drink.
Next song started, and the girl got up from her perch. Olivia thought she was going to give Fin a dance. So she scooted over so Munch could, too, to give the dancer more room.
Through her peripheral vision, Olivia saw Hank move aside, and she was going to follow suit. She never looked up, until white dress and heels appeared in front of her. Before she could protest, Angel rested her hand on her knee and gently uncrossed her legs. Swiftly, the girl stepped into the space and pushed Olivia's legs apart with her own.
"I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby..."
Angel sang along, running her hands down her sides, back up her pelvis and the flat curve of her midriff.
"When you're laying so close to me
there's no place I'd rather you be
than with me here..."
Gracefully, smoothly, she stepped out from her shimmering white dress, the tips of her breasts trembling as she leaned over to breathe against Olivia's ears, sending shivers down her spine.
Olivia found herself fascinated with the little heart shaped navel ring with an A in the middle, pondering the supposed origin of belly buttons. **Why am I thinking about dead old men at a time like this?** She steered her attention back to the sparkling jewel, and the sexy taut stomach.
"Guess A is for Angel, huh?" She tried to make small talk.
The dancer just curled the corner of her full lips into a come hither smile.
"I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby..."
Angel leaned towards Olivia again. She closed her eyes and inhaled, bracing herself for a replay of the low whimpering moan against her ear.
Instead Angel grazed her with her sensual lips, "You... Can call me Alex." then ran the tip of her tongue along Olivia's jaw. She stopped short of her mouth, with a light flicking movement, "Mmmm... Baby..." she breathed, and withdrew, leaving a trail of moisture and sending a tremor through Olivia.
When she finally opened her eyes, she saw a different blond, naked except for a pair of white low-rise g-string. Suddenly, she was wondering what color her skin was under the latex patches.
"Do it to me again and again
You put me in such an awful spin
In a spin
In ahhhhh..."
Olivia kept her gaze transfixed on the golden glitters that shimmered from the red heart up through and across the dancer's cleavage, trying to block out the transformation and failing miserably.
"I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby..."
She bends forward, cupping and pushing up her breasts, squeezing, massaging... Olivia sucked in a breath, a deep, ragged breath.
"Lay your head down real close to me
soothe my mind and set me free
set me free
free ahhhhhh..."
Flesh against flesh, not quite connecting, not quite touching... Hot, scorching flame snaking out, brushing against Olivia's cheek as she glided upwards.
She turned around slowly, slid down against Olivia's body, reaching up, soft warm fingers splayed about her neck, clinging, making sure they never lost contact...
"I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby...
I love to love you baby..."
Pulling taut the front of her g-string, her chest heaving, her hips thrusting rhythmically, a sated smile dancing on her lips...
Donna Summer, Angel / Alex's low moans and throaty calls reverberated in Olivia's ears. She could hear her own heart pounding to the beat.
She was stunned, white knuckles gripping knees, nails digging into denim. She expected the girl to get up from leaning against her chest, but she didn't. Not right away at least...
Then slowly, very slowly, the blond turned, her body pressed against the inside of Olivia's legs... She glided up, lithe form grinding to strong, steady rhythm, making Olivia forget just how much she hated that song...
"Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell
Jimmy Rogers on the Victrola up high
Mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder
The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky
The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything
Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for..."
She felt a vague tug, and glanced down to see nimble digits undoing the top button... she swallowed and kept her attention on the fair face, her blood rushing as she felt the woman's fingertip burn a path down her shirt front.
The blond went down onto her knees, blue eyes gazing up to Olivia, slowly running her trim hands along leather clad shoulders, across full breasts, not quite caressing, not quite touching... She paused, locking eyes with Olivia, and spread her fingers almost possessively on lean powerful thighs... Slowly, she dropped her head, golden locks cascading over Olivia's groin, body moving back and forth to the music... Finally, she looked up, pulling an imaginary hair out of her mouth; she gave Hank a pouty smile, then turned to Olivia, running her tongue along her lower lip.
She felt a familiar groan coming from somewhere deep within herself, and echoed by the people at her table. At that point, she could no longer care less.
"Up in Memphis the music's like a heatwave
White lightening, bound to drive you wild..."
Olivia certainly felt the heat, and the jolt of vibration. She hoped the girl couldn't sense her arousal, but of course she did. She had a self-satisfied grin on her face. She knew she was in control, knew she could do anything she wanted.
"Mama's baby's in the heart of every school girl
Love me tender leaves 'em cryin' in the aisle
The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true
Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for..."
She raised herself up slowly, with her hands over Olivia's, clear blue eyes holding brown ones captive... In an instant, the sultry smile became innocent. She looked like a celestial creature ascending into heaven, completing the movement. She kissed Olivia chastely on the cheek...
"Every word of every song that he sang was for you
In a flash he was gone, it happened so soon, what could you do?"
While Angel dressed, Olivia tossed her Jack and Coke down in a gulp, drowning away the sudden void. More soon followed. She tried not to notice the girl giving Fin a kiss on the cheek when he paid her. But she did look up when she left. Too soon, she was gone...
The rest of the night went by in a blur. She recalled Munch taking her home after the party, and having a hangover that lasted for what seemed like a week...
"Utter chaos before absolute order, right? Oliver?" She patted the cat, and raised her eyebrows when he rolled over, grabbed her hand and purred. "What, now you like me?"
She knew there would never be complete order in their life. She wasn't sure if she even wanted that. If she allowed herself to think about it, she might start worrying about the many uncertainties ahead. But she knew everything would fall into place in its own time, and she would not be alone on this journey. And that was enough for her.
"Hey."
Olivia turned towards the voice and smiled, allowing her eyes to stray. She didn't need to wonder anymore.
Alex followed her gaze, and shook her head in amusement, then finished belting her robe. She sat down next to Olivia, and reached up to ruffle dark hair.
Olivia held out her arm for her to snuggle in, and kissed her cheek gently, "Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetheart."
"Why are you awake?"
"Just am."
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
She shrugged, and pointed to the television. "You know? You're my Sam."
"Excuse me?" Any trace of sleep left Alex's voice. "You're comparing me to a sheepdog? How very romantic."
"You're not taking it the right way." She kissed her again, and hugged her close.
"Would you care to enlighten me?"
"My life is like a Warner Brothers cartoon. It's insane. It never makes any sense. And there's always something bad out there, waiting for me to take the wrong step, waiting to harm the sheep. Half the time, I'm not even sure if I'm Ralph or the sheep... But there's always Sam, keeping Ralph grounded, and keeping the sheep safe... making sure everything will turn out all right. Am I making any sense at all?"
"Woof." She burrowed further into the embrace.
A small stretch of quiet later, Olivia pressed her lips to sugar brown head, "And you're also my Brunnhilde."
"Great, I'm in love with Elmer Fudd." Alex tickled Olivia lightly on the ribs, and let the memory of that winter night fill her with warmth.
After another lapse of companionable silence, she asked, "Did you go to Barber of Seville?"
"Yeah, I did... I tried anyway..."
"Who did you go with?"
"You. I sat through the first part, thinking the whole time that if I looked over, you'd be there... And I would see the cute little smile on your face that you always have when you're concentrating on something you like... During the intermission, I just left... and I listened to the rest of the performance in the courtyard, wishing you were there..."
"I'm so sorry..."
Olivia leaned over, and kissed away the salty moisture, "It's okay. We're together, and nothing else matters."
"I love you so much," she sighed contentedly, and twined her fingers with Olivia's, comforted by the strength in the large hands.
"I love you, too, much more than I can ever..." She let the sentence trail off, and folded her arms around her lover... holding onto their connection, finally letting reality sink in.
"Why are you shaking your head?" Alex shifted and looked up.
Olivia smiled, "Just thinking, sweetheart."
"About what?"
"There was a time I thought Fin liked you," she tried to answer as nonchalantly as possible.
Alex sat up in full attention, "Why did you think that?"
"Remember the night I went to Hank's party?"
"Yes?" Her voice sounded just a little tense.
"He was watching a girl who looked like you." Now, Olivia assumed it was all for her benefit; but she didn't know for sure then.
"Like me?"
"Well..." She tried to focus on the memory from when Angel was still herself. "More like the way you used to look."
"Huh." An unreadable expression graced Alex's features.
Suddenly, Olivia felt like she was on the stand, "At some point she was sitting in his lap, looking really cozy..." She looked down at their joined hands, "And I wondered if maybe she was your substitute..."
Alex untwined her fingers from Olivia's, and gently caressed her cheek, reassuring, "And you were jealous?"
**Ah, that little tinge of something...** that she was too drunk to define. "Yeah, I guess I was..."
Blue eyes searched brown ones. Amusement now evident in Alex's tone, "Wasn't that when..."
"I started flirting with you like crazy?" Embarrassment crept into her voice, "Yes, I decided to do something before someone seriously caught your attention. Didn't know if you noticed."
"You weren't exactly subtle." She tapped her lover gently on the sternum, "I always wondered if I had coffee down my shirt or something."
"Sorry, that was just me gaping," Olivia apologized insincerely, lifting an eyebrow towards falling neckline.
Alex laughed quietly, resting her forehead against Olivia's shoulder, "I guess I should be glad I'm such an understanding woman."
"I know I am. Why?"
"You went on about the club rules. I thought you'd never stop..."
"That's why you sounded so impatient." Comprehension followed quickly by a smirk.
"I really didn't want to imagine you with all those half-naked women..."
"Oh?" The smirk widened into a grin.
"If anyone were to give you a lap dance... it should be me."
**You have no idea...** A throaty chuckle escaped; she covered it with, "I didn't know you cared." She bent towards the tempting blush, "So... Do I hear an offer on the table?"
"I'll think about it." Alex responded weakly, her breath catching.
"I promise to enjoy myself... much more than I did that night." Olivia encouraged hopefully, "What do you say?" brushing the tip of her tongue against the sensitive spot on her lover's neck.
"Maybe..." Came the whimpered reply.
"Do I get to pick the music?" She breathed against parted lips.
"I suppose so," Alex acquiesced, yielding to the questing kiss...
********************************************************************************
"Say, who's the guy you were talking to yesterday?" Olivia asked after Alex snuggled back into her embrace.
"That was Kurt Brown," she cleared her throat, her voice still sultry from their kiss, "The man who runs the center I told you about. And my new contact with the marshals."
"The US marshals?"
"Who else?"
"What were you smiling about?"
Alex tried to uncloud her mind, "Ah!" unfurrowing her brows, "He was warning me that some crazy detective was stalking me, but that I shouldn't be alarmed." She kissed Olivia lightly on the tip of her nose.
**So I was the cause.** Olivia let out a silent sigh of relief. "He knew I was coming?"
"They seem to know everything. I try not to think too hard about it. You may have raised a flag when you didn't show up for your flight though."
"I thought it might be easier if I drove." Actually, Olivia didn't want to wait around at the airport. She didn't want to watch everyone else excited to go home to their loved ones... Especially when she wasn't sure if Alex would take her back. But she kept that part to herself. "So, are we in trouble?"
"That depends on your definition..."
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I hope I didn't..."
"No," Alex responded quickly, soothing. "He just said you'll have to let the Marshals arrange your trips from now on."
"On the tax payers' dime? I don't want to do that..."
"There are probably some courtesy arrangements with the airlines. Or I'm sure someone is going to put you to work somehow."
"They're going to make me earn my frequent flyer miles, huh?" God she had missed that smile. "So why are we in trouble?"
"I'm not. You are."
"Why?"
"They expect to hear from you at least once a month."
"Really?" Brown eyes widened.
"Really..."
"So, I ask again: How am I in trouble?"
Alex grinned, a glint of untamed wildness in her eyes. She lowered her head and nibble gently down Olivia's neck, tracing sensitive earlobe with soft tongue...
Olivia shivered against the warm breath, shaken by the force of an unfolding future...
Soon, shirt buttons gave way... She closed her eyes as Alex dusted the path along exposed skin with tender, nipping kisses... and sighed as she moved up to claim her mouth... her all...
And she tumbled, quivering, into the fierce embrace... Thrilled by this new certainty... exhilarating...
This fiery exquisite sweetness... unnerving...
The promise of bliss... intoxicating...
********************************************************************************
Hank flew in from California that day. He went up to Olivia after the memorial service and held her close. "I'm so sorry, Olivia, so sorry you're hurting... I feel responsible..."
"Why? For marrying Rachel and not me?" She joked through tears.
"I thought she was perfect for you... that you were perfect together... I just wanted you to be happy."
At the time, Olivia had too much on her mind to pay attention to his words. Afterwards, she blocked out everything involving those horrible days in debilitating work.
It finally dawned on her. There was no coincidence, what happened at the party was a complete set up to give her a not so gentle push. **What a bunch of SOB's.**
She looked at the beautiful woman nestled in her arms, enfolded in golden sunrise. So peaceful. So sweet. A smile widened. **They were right.
**My stability. My light. In all this madness...
**Have I been so blind? Has everyone known all along?
**That you're all I need...
**All I ever need.**