BABY BLUES (or LIVVIE'S FAULT)
6. BROOKLYN CHAINSAW SERENADE (03/05/2005)
"Liv...Liv...wake up!"
Alex's voice sounded strident to her sleep-fogged brain. Olivia croaked, “What?”
"Come on, Liv, wake up. I really need you."
The brunette finally managed to get her eyes to open enough to see her partner's exasperated expression. "Are you okay? It's not time is it?" She asked, while struggling to sit up and get free from the tangle of blankets.
"Yeah, it's time for you to help me to the bathroom, I've been trying to wake you up for the last fifteen minutes," her lover groused.
"Okay, okay, I'm getting up. Don't get your panties in a wad," Olivia snapped, unusually cranky.
Later, after her lover helped her settle back into bed, Alex asked, "What's your problem this morning? Are you having trouble sleeping?"
"Yeah, I kept waking up off and on all night, finally I just gave up ..." Her reply was interrupted by a jaw cracking yawn. "And stayed awake."
"Why couldn't you sleep, Sweetie? Was your shoulder bothering you? I'm getting to heavy for you aren't I?" Alex suddenly looked embarrassed.
"No, no, my shoulder's fine, you aren't too heavy. I'm not having any trouble lifting you." Olivia reassured the blonde.
"Then what is it?"
"Your snoring." Olivia mumbled.
"My what!?!?"
"Your snoring." She repeated, a little louder.
"I do not snore!" Came her partner's indignant denial.
Olivia tried unsuccessfully to stifle another yawn. "You snored all night last night."
"You probably just woke yourself up snoring," Alex accused.
The brunette shook her head. "Wasn't me. Your snoring could wake the dead."
"If I did snore that loud, I'm sure I'd wake myself up. Since I don't snore, it's a moot point," the blonde insisted.
"I thought you might say that, so I taped you," Olivia said and smiled with satisfaction.
"You did what?" Blue eyes narrowed to angry slits.
"Yep, I knew you wouldn't admit you saw like a chain saw, so I recorded it." The brunette pulled a small tape recorder out of the drawer and hit the play button.
A loud, continuous snoring sounded from the tape. Alex looked horrified, "How do I know this isn't just you imitating me snoring."
"Just listen," Olivia cautioned and smiled smugly.
The brunette's voice came over the tape, "Sweetheart, please wake up." Meanwhile the snoring continued uninterrupted. Alex grabbed for the tape recorder, but her lover easily held it out of her reach.
"Give it here!" The blonde demanded.
"No, I was thinking I'd put it to music. It's got a nice steady rhythm to it. Something kind of jazzy maybe," Olivia taunted, chuckling, obviously pleased with herself.
Baby blue eyes were suddenly filled with tears threatening to spill. "I can't help it. I'm fat, and ugly, and now all I do is belch and snore." She snuffled.
"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I was just playing, honest. Here, take the stupid tape." Olivia popped it out of the recorder and handed it to her tearful lover.
Alex took it hesitantly. Then, without warning, her eyes sparkled with wicked glee. She jerked the tape from the cassette, twisting and pulling it out of shape. "Sucker!"