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Watching Alex Dream


3. WATCHING ALEX DREAM (Oct 2, 2004)

by Miranda Rafferty

When I can't sleep, which is often, I watch you sleep. I find a peace in this simple pastime that I can find nowhere else. It sounds such a cliché to say you look beautifully angelic, but you do. Your hair shining in the night from the street lights outside our windows. Your face is radiant, and surrounded in an ethereal aura.

Your pale skin aglow, and lips so incredibly kissable. I'm afraid to knowing if I do it might awaken you, and I don't want that. I'm selfish in my desire to keep these moments all to myself.

Sometimes the hint of a delicate smile plays at the corners of your mouth, or you'll frown for a brief moment. It is an enjoyable distraction that takes my mind away from my inability to sleep. What are you dreaming, my love?

I hope it's happy. You've had your share of heartbreak and sadness. I want it to be some memory of us. Please let it be some time I've given you a moment's pleasure or some delightful event we've shared. I know it's vain to expect all of your smiles to be because of me, and the frowns must be some exasperation caused by another. I'm well aware others give you happiness and I often try your patience beyond human endurance.

I've always tried to fulfill your every desire, and to grant your smallest wish. That's why I hope every dream you have includes me. My life revolves around you, and I can't seem to remember a time it didn't. Other people have said I'm obsessed with you, and I have to agree with them, but what a glorious obsession it is.

Watching you dream has saved my sanity on more occasions than I care to admit. What you dream I can only guess, but that riddle has become a fascinating pastime for me. After this long I think we know everything about one another, then I watch you sleep, and know I really don't. I'll never know your dreams and that will always remain a mystery to me.

It's something I can live with after this long. And when I can sleep, all my dreams are of you my dearest love. I hope you will forgive my selfishness that some small part of yours include me.

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